Moving Won’t Solve Your Problems

Ever since high school I would talk about how I was going to get out of here. It started with wanting to go to Canada, to wanting to go to college in Ireland, to getting accepted to all the schools I applied for in North Carolina.

I ultimately stayed in New Jersey because of my boyfriend at the time. And although that relationship didn’t work out, it was the best decision I could have made. I was close to my family and made amazing friends.

But once I got around to graduating college, I swore I wasn’t going to move home. I was looking at jobs in Arkansas and Pennsylvania – while applying to safety jobs in New Jersey. But I ended up getting a job in New Jersey, a mere 30 minutes from my hometown. I moved home and I don’t regret it. I still see my friends a decent amount, I save a lot of money, and I’ve been learning a lot about myself.

A lot of people want to get out of town just to run away from their problems. No friends? I’ll make better ones in a different state. Bad job? I’ll find a better one somewhere else. Bored and lazy? My life is clearly waiting for me somewhere else.

But that’s not true. If you have problems weighing down on you and choose to solve those problems by moving – it probably won’t work. It’s one thing to be moving for better opportunities and a change of scenery, but anything that’s causing a chip on your shoulder will only deepen with distance.

If you’re planning on moving you need to tie up your loose ends. Say see ya later to your good friends and a solid goodbye to the people in your life who aren’t contributing anything. Don’t say anything to the people who are bringing you down, just leave them. And don’t blame where you’re living for your bad job and boring life. You’re choosing not to make the best of where you are and no matter where you are that will always be the case.

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The Need For Something New

When it rains, it pours, and when we feel too single and life feels too unstable, people like me only know one way to fix it. The only way to fix it is to change everything. Pack your bags and head for the open road.

When things start to go downhill, it’s easy to forget all of what we initially wanted to do with our lives. Because if it’s not working out now, will it work out ever?

You’re not meeting anyone new, your job is dead end, everyone in your life is failing you, and you’re failing yourself.  So you want to pick up and move to a different state. You want to start a new job and meet new people.  And since you’re in a new place, you think you’ll definitely meet a new person who you’ll fall in love with and everything will gracefully end up in place just because you’re not where you used to be.

Is it possible to just ditch your life and go somewhere else and have it all work out?  Or is that just our way of running away from our problems that will inevitably catch up with us no matter where we are?

When I feel my life becoming unbalanced I often start googling “the best places to start over” and searching for jobs in states out of my reach.  I never follow through because it’s not the easiest thing to just shift your life into another state and make all new friends (especially if you’re awkward and introverted like me). On more than one occasion though, after a week where things just didn’t go my way, my roommates would find my car gone from the driveway. Nothing was right, I needed to disappear, I needed change, I needed something new.

So what’s the solution to the people who think that something new is the only solution? Taking smaller steps of change is the best way to combat the blues and need for new. The problems you try to hide with an easy fix have a way of coming up through the cracks – so face them head on and start making improvements in your life before trying to make big changes.

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