Dealing With Embarrassment

I’m embarrassed all the time. And when I get embarrassed, it never leaves my mind. Most recently I’ve had days where everything is going right and I’m so thrilled and then one little thing will happen that throws the whole day off. Like when someone scolded me for dragging some chairs on “historical” floors or when I tried to open the door for a blind person and ended up making things way more complicated. I think about those things all day, I think about them years later.

But I recently read this: think of all the times you’ve been embarrassed, now think of a time when someone else was embarrassed.

It’s hard to remember. I’m thinking back to college, trying to remember the weird or ratchet things some of my friends did. And while a few things come to mind, I don’t know how embarrassed by it they were.

And no one else remembers those things that embarrassed you. The guy who scolded me won’t remember me after a few days go by, the blind person who deals with difficulties every day won’t remember me. We are so wrapped up in ourselves and the things we do, sometimes we just need to let it go.

It is never as bad as you thought it was and no one else will even remember it. Embarrassment is a part of life, but you can’t let it eat you alive.

adult alone anxious black and white
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What You Don’t Know About Overthinkers

A lot of people say they’re an overthinker, kind of like the way people casually and incorrectly say they have OCD. Like you may think a lot, but do you truly know what an overthinker goes through?

I’m pretty introverted and socially awkward – I have not always been this way, but it’s something I was shaped into as I got older. I’m pretty weird and that was all fine and fun when I was young and then as I got older we were all pressured into being “cooler” and that’s when I think I became my most uncomfortable with myself and started overthinking.

So, I can sort of remember what it was like to not worry about absolutely everything and I have something to compare it to.

What you may not know about overthinkers is we think all the time – but all. the. time. I think when I wake up in the morning, my work gets interrupted in the day by overthinking, my dreams even keep me up at night because my brain doesn’t shut off. And this thinking can keep us from actually doing. Because we play out so many scenarios and think things to death so much that it just stops us in our tracks.

For most of my college career I avoided seriously dating because it put my thinking into overload and caused too much stress. I would break off relationships before they even started because of the panic that overthinking would cause to come over me.

When I have too much to do, I think about it all day. I make lists and lists and can’t focus on the impending doom that’s coming my way.

You may look at someone and say, “oh you just think too much!” But it’s not as simple as meditating in the morning and wiping your thoughts away. Actually, I can’t enjoy meditation or yoga because the thoughts STILL creep in. There are worry warts, dramatic people, perfectionists – and then there are overthinkers whose minds actually never turn off.

woman holding red balloon on her face photo inside classroom
Photo by Jure Širić on Pexels.com

What Is It Like To Live In The Present?

I know a lot of people who live in the past. They are always talking about high school memories, posting #tbts, and generally just getting by on the life they already lived.

I tend to live in the future. I always want to know my next step, where I can go next, and planning for the years to come. I have a laundry list of things I want to do and I have to wait for time to pass to do them.

It makes living in the present really hard. I’m almost always worried about what’s to come. I enjoy moments, but day to day is nearly impossible. Every day is just a day closer to something I actually want to be doing. It makes life very tedious and repetitive.

What’s it like to live in the present? I know it’s not easy for most people, they either live in the past or in the future (like me) – or they do a mix of both! Which I am certainly guilty of sometimes. What is it like to enjoy the day you’re in without worrying about what you’ve done in the past and what you have yet to do in the future?

Some things that have helped to ground me are making lists of what I am grateful for that day. Another is making the most out of every day – but that really isn’t easy to do when you’re overtired from work and just want to lay in bed.

Do you have any tips on living in the present?

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/gustavominas/

10 Life Tips That I Almost Never Follow

  1. Overthinking won’t help the situation.
    I can calm my hectic brain by coloring, journaling, cleaning, etc. But I always let overthinking get the best of me.
  2. Always take your PTO as much as possible.
    Take it and use it for something fun. Unfortunately, dentist appointments and car problems often end up being the reasons I take off instead of fun.
  3. Don’t try to drink as much as you did in college.
    The hangovers are real and I am often reminded how little I actually like drinking. You don’t have to keep up with people or get drunk just to have fun.
  4. It’s okay to just do nothing.
    Not every day has to be the most exciting day of your life, no matter how much fomo you feel from seeing others doing fun things on social media.
  5. It’s okay to be alone.
    It’s okay to do things alone, to be single, to need alone time.
  6. Accept help from others.
    I know you want to, but you just can’t do it all on your own.
  7. Meditation or some form of de-stressing works.
    If you know what works for you, then do it. Don’t put things off or completely shut down from stress if you can avoid it.
  8. Helping others can help yourself.
    Sometimes you just get too wrapped up in yourself, helping others may help to clear your head.
  9. There’s always something to be grateful for.
    Even when it doesn’t seem like it, you can be grateful that you just made it to work that day or you have a job or that you’re breathing.
  10. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
    You are not the only person who doesn’t have life figured out, no one has life figured out. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

    hc
    Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/pixx0ne/

 

The Problem With My Blog

My blogging niche started out as dating-focused and slowly turned into a lifestyle/travel/relationship/millennial blog. So, a lifestyle niche.

But the dating aspect of my blog has never really gone away. Mostly because I find relationships fascinating and because love is ever evolving. A lot of people can relate to the different stages I ‘ve been through in my relationships, I’m glad it helps them and it definitely helps me.

The problem with my blog is that I’ve become too introspective when it comes to dating. I honestly know too much about relationships. It makes dating harder than it should be. Because I know all about the lows and I know all about the highs. I know about the problems of many different couples, as well as my own.

I know things can go downhill fast, faster than you fell in love. The problem with my blog is all of this knowledge and information I dug up for myself is now weighing me down.

Every relationship now comes with the millions of questions I have asked over the two years I’ve been blogging. Am I settling? Am I happy? Is this just like the last relationship? Am I wasting my time? Am I really in love?

And it’s honestly frustrating because, being an over-thinker, I can barely be in the moment and enjoy anything. Now being especially introspective towards my relationship, every couple of weeks I have a panic attack about whether or not this is the right thing.

I’ve preached for so long about looking inside yourself and finding happiness and not letting a relationship get the best of you. I’ve hailed independence and knowing and growing yourself. But when it all comes down to it, can I practice what I preach when I know too much to even let my relationship breathe?

My blog was all peachy and great when I was single, but now that I’m not…there is a problem with my blog.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/otacon/

8 Things I Don’t Like About Myself

A couple of days ago I wrote about the things I care too much about. It’s refreshing to see all of the things you need to let go written down in a list. Therefore, I decided to write down the things I don’t like about myself in hopes that I can one day let those go as well.

  1. Being introverted
    A lot of people just don’t understand the amount of time I need alone.
  2. My roots are too dark for my blonde hair
    And literally this is always a problem
  3. My weight
    I think I started my first diet in like 7th grade, I’ve always been insecure about it.
  4. Being self conscious without make up
    I don’t go anywhere without it
  5. My pessimism
    I’m very realistic and this often causes me to be pessimistic
  6. My fear of public speaking
    I seriously suck at it
  7. My overthinking
    It drives me insane
  8. I get easily frustrated
    Why can’t people just stop doing annoying things?hc
    photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/face_it/

5 Things To Do When You’re Overthinking

I’m a serious over-thinker. To the point where I often get in my own way, get migraines, or just give up because I am thinking everything to death. If you’re anything like me, here are 5 things that can help you stop overthinking and start living.

  1. Journaling
    How 6th grade self of you, right? But I bought myself a pretty cute faux-leather journal that I just write all my thoughts down into when I’m anxiety ridden. It doesn’t have to be beautiful poetry or profound writings, sometimes I just write that I ate a banana that morning and I call it a day.
  2. Coloring
    I now realize there is a pattern to doing things you used to do when you were young, so there’s something to be said about that. Coloring allows you to let out frustrations and focus on something other than your crazy brain. Go buy an adult coloring book, like now.
  3. Take a nap
    Don’t tell me you don’t have time or don’t take naps. If you are stressed enough, the naps will come.
  4. Organize
    I’m not a big fan of cleaning, but I know that it helps distract a lot of people while also getting something productive done. I usually just take out my planner and organize my whole life into it.
  5. Recall a time when you weren’t overthinking
    I know it feels like something that is consistently going on, but there are times when you’re not overthinking. It could depend on the people you’re with, the place you’re at, something you’re doing, etc. But pinpoint those times and revisit them when you just can’t shut it off.
hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/59152532@N05/