The Struggle Of Being Sentimental

I’ve never had a good memory and I’ve never had a huge attachment to places. But if I have a token of a place or a photo of a time, then I’m able to remember the event more clearly. I collect things from important people and places I go and I’ve become very sentimental.

I have boxes of things I’ve acquired over the years. Diaries, cards, ticket stubs, birthday presents that came from people who I left in the past, a lot of bad poetry from high school. I have a hard time throwing those things away because they are probably the only things that will trigger those memories for me.

I went through some of the boxes recently and could only throw away a few things. Diaries that mostly only spoke about how my family were jerks and how I was fat, photos of people who left me with bad feelings, and trinkets that I couldn’t find an attachment to.

But there’s so much left and the problem with being sentimental isn’t that I’m going to become a hoarder one day. The problem is that these things make me miss people who have hurt me, who I don’t even like anymore. They make me miss times that I was actually miserable during. But by being so sentimental, it’s easy to forget the bad. Even when they are things that should be long gone.

It’s hard to be so sentimental, I feel oddly attached to dumb things and then feel like reaching out to people who stopped caring about me altogether. It’s a dangerous road and I’ve found it best to just keep those boxes closed.

diary girl hand journal
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Can You Date Someone With The Same Name As Your Ex?

I recently ran into the problem of whether or not I could date someone who had the same name as my dad. I googled it, read many blogs on the subject, and then realized how silly that was. If I really liked someone – why did it matter what their name was? Also I have never in my life called my dad by his first name so it really wouldn’t be a reminder to me of anything. I never went on a date with the guy anyway, but at least I know for the future.

But then I ran into the problem on whether or not I could date someone who had the same name as my ex.

There’s a lot more attached to the name of someone I used to date than there is to a friend or a family member who I don’t even call by that name.  It seems crazy that something so little and pretty irrelevant could make such an impact on the decision to date someone.

Firstly, it’s a little weird just to have a boyfriend with the same name as your ex. Secondly, your friends are going to get so confused when you start talking about your new boyfriend.  Can you imagine the look on their faces when they’re listening to you and think you’re telling a story about the ex whose photos you burned together on the porch? And lastly, you just have so many memories attached to that name. And they’re probably not good ones. If they are good ones, you’re probably not even over your ex and then this kind of just sounds like an odd replacement for you.

It all depends on how long you dated the person for and how much they mean to you now.

Would I date someone who has the same name as the ex I dated for four years? No. That seems a little drastic, but he also broke my heart and ruined a good portion of my life. I don’t want to jinx myself somehow and potentially go down that road again. Unless I could call him some kind of variation of the name, it probably wouldn’t work out.

Would I date someone who has the same name as the guy I dated for three months but never actually committed to? Yes, I think so.  Because I honestly forgot about 90% of our “relationship” and even though the parts I remember are still bad, I don’t care enough about that ex or that name to turn down someone new just because they have the same name.

It seems silly, until you’re put into that position. Would you date someone with the same name as your ex?

photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/helga/
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/helga/