How To Actually Support Women

I think we talk a lot of talk about how we want men and women to be equal and many men say that they support women 100%. But I don’t think they really know what that support entails. I saw the following images on Twitter and was disgusted with the reaction from guys who are telling her to be more humble.

hc

Because I have guys in my life telling me to be more confident, that I’m beautiful, that I should stop being so hard on myself. And I don’t believe them, I have a hard time accepting my appearance and if I say “thank you” to a compliment, I’m internally saying “you’re wrong.”

But the second a girl actually loves herself and gains confidence, men and women come out of the woodwork to tear her down. So which is it? You support us, but we shouldn’t get too ahead of ourselves?

hc2

If you want to actually support women, you have to accept them. This applies to men and women. You have to let them be themselves, love themselves. You can’t tear them down and call them sluts for sleeping with a few guys or call them egotistical for loving themselves. Because let’s be honest, if you’re posting a picture of yourself on snapchat you already know you look good in it. You have to accept that not all women are weak and in need of your help. But some are.

You have to support them all, not just the ones that fit the mold that you like.

hc3

The Hookup On: Trying Out Spritzr

This is a sponsored post. All opinions are mine.

I’ve often found that people refer to dating apps as a game, but most of the apps out there right now are not actually a game.

I came across Spritzr, a match making app, that has more fun and game like qualities than any other app out there right now. If you’re swiping through boring apps and looking for a little more fun, Spritzr is the place for you! Check it out here: https://spritzr.com/

Whether you are single or in a relationship, Spritzr allows anyone to play matchmaker. I especially like this because:

  1. My single friends are always looking to be set up.
  2. I’m missing out on all the dating app fun now that I’m in a relationship!

You can play matchmaker for your friends and help them discover what they have in common. Your friends probably know you better than you know yourself, so why not let them give it a try?

If your friends aren’t on the app, you can match community members without knowing them. You see a main user profile and several secondary ones that Spritzr suggests. If you believe any of those are a good match just drag and drop it onto the main user profile.

This is a game that even has rewards! You can make 10 matches daily and even be rewarded when a good match is done.

These dates are recommended by real people, not just random swiping through people nearby or calculated algorithms that don’t really seem to work. I was a big user of dating apps when I was single and Spritzr seems a lot more fun and a lot more friendly.

Download the app here:

Itunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/spritzr-best-matchmaking-app/id947628787

Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.spritzr

Ready to try? Give me a comment below if you’re thinking of downloading the app!

hc

 

Being In Love Vs. Being Comfortable

Relationships are hard for a number of reasons. They involve two people, each who has their own thoughts, feelings, and complicated structure. Two people that are trying to melt their lives into one. To have one set of thoughts, feelings, and one single complicated structure.

Sometimes it can be hard to find the person that’s right for you. Sometimes it can be so easy to fall in love. But the beginning of a relationship is rarely the hard part – the months and years and rest of your life that follows is the hard part.

You have to be so self aware. You have to constantly know how you’re feeling and how to talk about it so it doesn’t get in the way of anything. When you lose your self awareness and settle into the relationship bed you’ve made, problems can’t be identified anymore. You can’t see happiness or sadness or jealousy or rage. You just see your relationship and it is what it is.

Are you still in love or are you just comfortable? Sure, you can’t picture your life without him but that’s only because you’ve spent so much time with him. Because you have structured your life around another person and have become painfully unaware of your own feelings.

Do you stick out the fights, the jealousy, the unhappiness because you’re in love? Love does not have to be pain, in fact it should be the one thing that makes you feel better when it’s recipricoted.

This relationship may be your norm now, but it wasn’t always this way. And if you step back and take a good hard look at your feelings and your relationship, you’ll be able to see if it’s worth fighting for. You’ll be able to see if you’re in love or just comfortable.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/f_lynx/

 

 

10 Reasons Why Fall Is Awesome

Although summer is without a doubt my favorite season, fall has its perks too! We all need a little reminder sometimes, when the temperatures drop and the free time disappears, that fall can be just as great as summer 🙂 Here are 10 reasons why fall is so awesome:

  1. Mallomars
    Enough said
  2. Nicer weather
    I’m always cold, but fall has a nice inbetween of too hot and too cold
  3. Bulking season
    Okay, this isn’t really a thing for me but I don’t have to wear a bikini anymore so let’s just call the massive amounts of food I’m about to eat bulking season
  4. Less frequent leg shaving
    I’m wearing pants, guys, I’m not shaving my legs every three days anymore.
  5. Comfort food
    Pumpkin everything, richer and yummier foods!
  6. Halloween
    My favorite holiday 🙂
  7. Thanksgiving
    Once again…food.
  8. Fall clothes
    Beanies are actually the best thing for bad hair days and flannels couldn’t be more comfortable.
  9. Fall activities
    Apple picking, hay rides, and pumpkin carving all make for great Instagrams
  10. Cuddle weather
    It’s cuffing season!! Find yourself a significant other and commence the cuddling.
hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/lauritopias/

Can You Date Your Ex Again?

The past is just so tempting.

We find comfort in past relationships because at one point, they were very comfortable. Externally, we may forget about all of the bad things that occurred. We don’t really remember the cheating, the lying, the bad blood that pooled after the break up.

But internally, we never really forget. It sits in our minds, quiets the butterflies in our stomachs.

Some people do deserve a second chance. Some exes aren’t as bad as others. But after all is said and done – the honeymoon stage into the fighting into the break up – can you really forget about all the pain? Can you set aside that discomfort and date your ex again?

Sure you may love them a lot and they may make you happy, but the bad parts never really go away. They boil up again and again. Because if you catch him in a white lie, you’ll be reminded of all the other little white lies. The little lies that led to bigger lies, the lies that led to cheating. The things that left you heartbroken.

There’s just no such thing as a clean slate. You can’t wipe off the mess and expect it to be shiny and new again. It just doesn’t happen, sad memories will still reside.

In some ways, I’m sure you could get past those memories. If trust was slowly built up again, if a spark was gradually ignited. But to rush into dating your ex again will only result in the whole thing going up in flames. There’s no shame in taking things slow – especially after being hurt before.

Can you date your ex again? I don’t really know. But if you go at a snail’s pace and take your time, you might be able to spare some feelings while you’re trying to figure it out.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/demibrooke/

Base Your Success On Your Happiness

Some people base their success on money. How much they’re raking in, how often they’re being promoted. Some people base their success on other people. How others react to them, how they impress people.

But really, you should base your success on your happiness.

Make goals. They can include getting promoted, making more money, impressing people – if that’s what’s going to make you truly happy. The little things should add up to one big thing. And that big thing is happiness.

You could tell me you’re an unhappy millionaire who is successful – but I wouldn’t believe you. People who aren’t continuously working towards happiness are ultimately working toward nothing, an empty shell of unsuccess.

The way you succeed at work, at home, socially, etc are very important. But those things shouldn’t be measured by anyone other than yourself. If something isn’t making you happy – change it for you. Not for someone else.

Your paycheck may make you unhappy. Your job title may make you unhappy. The way people react to you may make you unhappy. Your unhappiness is what is making you unsuccessful, not the materials or opinions of others.

Never stop being selfish when it comes to your happiness. And never forget that being happy should be a main goal. It’s easy to get caught up in your bank account or your fancy first impression – but neither of those things define who you really are. And none of those things will impress anyone on a deeper level. It shouldn’t even impress you.

Be impressed by your happiness in a world full of gloom and uncertainty. Base your success on the smile on your face and the warmth in your heart. Keep working towards and building that happiness – never give up.

Screen Shot 2016-05-24 at 10.26.07 PM
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/mateusd/

A Letter To My College Self

Hey you!

You did it! And I am so unbelievably proud of you. I know high school sucked and you’ve been looking forward to college for the past four years. I also know you currently feel held back, scared, and unsure.

It’s okay that you made your school choice based off of proximity. You may not have made that decision fully for yourself, but there were parts of you that thought it was for the better. Never stop listening to those parts of yourself. They’re always right – your thoughts and feelings about yourself will always be more right than anyone else’s.

It’s not going to be super easy to make friends here either, but just be yourself. College is way more real than high school ever was. If someone doesn’t like you, then you shouldn’t work to change yourself to fit that person. You get rid of them and you move on.

And you’ll make a lot of friends, this is a lot bigger than that small town you grew up in. You can have a bunch of different friend groups and they’re all very understanding. If they’re not understanding, they’re not the right kind of friends.

But the friends you make here are probably more important than that general education art lecture and the boy you met at a basement party. You’ll learn that quickly.

It may seem silly to take so many unrelated classes. But some of these professors will majorly impact your life. You’ll probably know the moment you meet them that they’re different, different like you. And they want to help you as long as you want to be helped. These professors will mold and shape your career. Like your friends, you’ll never stop being thankful for them.

Don’t be afraid to mess up because you are going to mess up. No one will judge you for it because chances are, they know someone or they have personally messed up way worse than you have. And those mess ups are a way to get to know yourself better. The mistake make outs, black out hang overs, missed classes, verbal arguments, failed assignments, and that overall sucky feeling will teach you lessons you would never learn if you didn’t take a risk.

Take them. College does go by fast, I’ll admit that there are certain years I wish I could repeat over and over for the rest of my life. But then those moments wouldn’t be so special.

If you do it right, four years is all you’ll need to be able to turn around with that stupid square cardboard on your head and wave goodbye to your home for the last four years with a diploma in your hand.

You’re ready. You screwed up, hit rock bottom, flew sky high, and succeeded in college. Imagine what you can do in the real world.

Love,

Me

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/oceansoflilim/