When Stress Becomes Too Much

Do you ever just become one big ball of stress? Like every daily activity just comes with new stresses to add to the old stresses?

I always find these things tend to pop up when I’ve let my guard down and things have been going well for a while. Then all of a sudden things come up at work and your pet gets sick and those big things make you shut down, causing you to stress even more about the little things.

Because now I care that I’ve been eating like crap. And now I can’t sleep well anymore. And I just can’t do anything because the big stresses caused little stress and I am just walking stress at this point.

It almost feels like there is not much you can do. It would be easier to just lay down and nap than face the day. But big problems can be solved, you’ve done it before. And little problems are just that – little.

One step at a time, one problem at a time, and one solution at a time the stress will go away. It won’t happen all at once or overnight, but sooner rather than later things will return to normal. You can’t let stress get the best of you, the more it takes over your life the harder it will be to get rid of.

Enjoy the ride, right?

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Why I Deleted My Facebook

When the first Facebook breach happened and everyone was freaking out about their information being given away without them knowing, I stopped and thought how did people not know that their information was being stolen? It’s almost like something I’ve grown up with, just giving my privacy away to social media so people can target me for advertisements and know my likes and dislikes.

There was another breach more recently that actually made me stop and think, why does Facebook need to know so much about me in the first place? I had my Facebook for 11 years – since I was 14 years old! I started looking back at posts from that time and cringed. We were so unaware and just blatantly put all of our photos, conversations, and information out on social media. We didn’t even try to hide it, it didn’t even need to be stolen.

Mass deleting on Facebook is basically impossible. And I couldn’t control any of the things I had written on other people’s walls when I was young. Like talking about getting “drunk” when I was 16 and asking people for answers to like every homework assignment ever. So I decided to delete it.

My Facebook had over 800 friends, it had thousands of photos. My phone number and birthday were attached to it. My high school, college, and every place I ever worked were listed. Why did I feel like I needed to divulge all of that information?

I didn’t delete it for good –  I need Facebook for work and for this blog. But I made a new one with wayyyy less info. A misspelling of my name, a fudged birthday, no location information, no phone number. And now less than 200 friends.

I thought I would regret it, most of my life has revolved around social media. But I hadn’t realized it got to the point where I didn’t even know why I was sharing this info with 800 people – half of whom I probably don’t even know!

Any personal social media of mine – meaning not for my blog or work – is now as private as I can make it be. And I like it that way, I urge everyone to take a hard look at what they’ve put out on the internet. I’d like to think that we still have time to fix the mistakes we made.

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Do You Have Imposter Syndrome?

Thanks to a Buzzfeed quiz, I learned about imposter syndrome this week. Wikipedia describes the syndrome as a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a  fear of being exposed as a fraud. Even though there is evidence of their accomplishments and competence, those with the syndrome chalk up their success to luck or something similar.

And when I read that I was like “holy shiz I definitely have that.” For pretty much my whole entire life, I’ve never really thought that I’ve deserved anything. I’ve done a lot of great things in my life and accomplished a lot, and all of those things have surprised me.

When I got into all of the colleges I applied to (granted, I didn’t really reach) I was genuinely shocked because up until that point I didn’t know I could do anything right. And in my first year of college I got a job as a tour guide and I was like what kind of magic did I bewitch on them for them to think I would actually be a good fit for this?

And then I got into my sorority and I was so confused that people actually liked me. And then I got a good internship and I graduated from college. I got a good job and then an even better job.

I thought it was either luck or (if I’m being honest) I’ve chalked A LOT of it up to being a decently attractive female. Yupp, I don’t really think I’ve deserved any of this but I’ve gotten by because I’m not that terrible to look at

And it’s such a toxic way to think. I’ve always been intelligent, even if I suck at school. I’m not great at coming out of my shell, but I am great at talking about the things I’m passionate about. I got really good grades in college and I learned a lot about myself and taught myself a lot about the field I work in. How could I think I don’t deserve any of this, that I’m a fraud?

I don’t think it’s rare, I don’t think anyone of us get the credit we deserve and we especially don’t give it to ourselves. But if we don’t, really, who will?

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Fall Bucket List

The season of spook is upon us. I’ve always been a huge Tim Burton and Halloween fan, I grew up as an emo kid so all black everything is in my blood. I’ so excited for fall, but I dread the colder weather. Check out all the stuff I plan to do this fall!

1. Go apple picking
2. Go pumpkin picking
3. Learn something new
4. Knit a sweater for my dog
5. Make macrame wall hangings
6. Reach 650 Facebook likes
7. Reach 7,100 Instagram followers
8. Reach 1,350 Twitter followers
9. Make more time for the gym
10. Introduce a habit that will help with stress
11. Watch a bunch of halloween movies
12. Change my hair
13. Go to a concert
14. Go out of the country
15. Go out of the state 3 times
16. Read 3 books

What are you excited for this fall?

Mid-relationship Crisis

A mid-life crisis is an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early middle age. So I think that would make a mid-relationship crisis an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early mid-relationship.

And shout out to whoever googled the term “mid-relationship crisis” and somehow got to my blog and inspired this blog idea.

I think it’s very easy to have an identity crisis in a relationship. Before I started dating my current boyfriend, I had been single for years and even living by myself. I had become very independent, which isn’t quite like me, but I enjoyed it. But then we started dating and mostly everything became about us.

It’s not a bad thing to invest your time and emotions in someone else and of course the beginning of a relationship will be so happy and sweet you won’t want to tear yourself away from it. But as the relationship progresses, you may begin to lose your independence. You may be giving up parts of yourself and you might not even notice. And these things are mostly because you allowed yourself to do it, not because your partner forced you to.

All of a sudden, you realize you barely see or talk to your friends anymore because your significant other kind of satisfies the role of a friend. And you stop making the gym and eating healthy a priority because it’s so fun to come home and chill on the couch with snacks and your boyfriend. You stop putting in a lot of effort towards how you look because you see the same people every day anyway, why does it matter?

They are little things that can build up and cause an identity crisis which can cause a mid-relationship crisis and make you think you need to call it quits for everything in your life to be better again. But that’s not always the case.

You can be independent in a relationship and even if you lose it for a little while, you can always get it back. Everyone at some point freaks out about their relationship whether it’s the commitment, longevity, fear of losing someone, etc. Assess your own happiness and decide whether this crisis really needs drastic measures or just a step back into your old comfort zone.

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