Rediscovering Yourself

I lose track of myself all the time and I don’t even know I’m doing it. Just one day I’ll snap back into place and realize I’ve been wasting life away.

I get into these ruts where all I do is nap after work. Where I stop putting time into my appearance. Ruts where I don’t do anything for myself anymore. And the worst part about it is that I’ve actually convinced myself that what I’m doing is good for me.

That maybe I just need a little rest, maybe I need to be alone, maybe I need to just be a lump for a day. And then one day turns into two and then that turns into a week. And before I know it I’ve lost myself.

While it’s true we all need days to relax and be a lump, it’s easy to fall into a pattern and stay there. Why should I push myself? Why should I get up? I’m tired.

But I’m making myself more tired by not pushing myself a little. Because now the tiniest of things will cause me stress. I need to rediscover myself and get back out of my comfort zone. Only then will I find the energy I need and find myself again.

So I’ve signed up for yoga. I’ve made an appointment to get my hair done. Lists are being made, priorities won’t be forgotten. It’s the little things that can get neglected, but those are the things that can make the biggest difference in your life.

woman in green camisole top holding lipstick
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My Work Personality

We all have to act certain ways to fit in sometimes, but I try never to stray too far from my true personality. While some people choose to get very prim and proper at work and keep a professional face at all times, that’s just never been my style.

I’m a casual and approachable person, I want people to feel comfortable around me. I don’t ditch my sarcastic quips or approachable demeanor just because I’m in a room of suits. I try to make everyone comfortable around me and it seems to work.

I recently read this blog post about a study saying that when women joke in the work place, it comes off as disruptive and unprofessional. But when men do it, it’s a way of producing positive outcomes. I’m not surprised at all by this. It goes along with the strong stereotype of women comedians not being funny.

On the other hand, women that don’t crack jokes can be seen as hard or bitchy. It’s usually a no-win situation.

And while I’m not surprised, I’m not going to change my work ways. I may come off as unprofessional to you, but I’m still getting my work done. I’m still successful. And I think I do a pretty good job of making people comfortable and trusting of me.

I’ve been lucky enough to work in a predominantly female environment. It’s very empowering to sit around a conference table of all women. It shows me that women of any personality can be successful. Being your true, authentic self is one of the most important things you can do in life.

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Age Doesn’t Define Your Life

I’m at that point in my life where everyone I know is either engaged or talking about getting engaged. People say “oh you’re just at that age!” But it’s actually the furthest thing from what I want right now.

And I don’t think my age has anything to do with why I should be getting married. Some people get engaged after a short amount of time, some after a long amount of time – and I don’t care why you got engaged as long as marriage is something you really want and are prepared for.

But not all of us in our twenties are. Maybe not even in our forties. Or our nineties. Some people wait to get engaged to save money, some people just don’t see the rush.

And it’s not even engagement – just because you’re 22 doesn’t mean you need to be finished with college. Just because you’re 30 doesn’t mean you need to own a house. Just because you’re 40 doesn’t mean you need three kids tearing up your home.

It’s terrible to set milestones up based on how old you are. Because we didn’t all live the same life. Some of us got our hearts broken for the first time much later than others. Some of us had to work for money before being able to go to school or move on to a better job. Some of us love travel while some of us love the sense of home. We are all different and you can’t clump a group of twenty-something year olds together and expect them all to be ready and willing for the same path in life.

man standing near glass window looking outside
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Quick Trip To The Dominican Republic

A few weeks ago I prompted my Instagram followers with this question: is there a difference between a trip and a vacation?

The answer is 100% yes. My boyfriend and I have taken a lot of trips together. Trips that have tight time frames where we spend every day doing something and learning something.

But we just got back from a short vacation to the Dominican Republic and the difference is so clear. We did nothing and it was amazing.

We got to our hotel (VH Atmosphere) around 4 pm on Sunday, relaxed in the room, took a walk, headed to dinner and then went to bed early!

We woke up the next day without any alarms. Sat down for a coffee then some breakfast. Then we spent the entire day (getting kind of burned) by the pool. My boyfriend played in a darts tournament. And we read and talked and just relaxed. We ended the night with a great dinner.

We even made some time for the gym on Sunday after a day spent at the beach and pool.

While I know the Dominican Republic has much more to offer than the resort life – this was basically only a 2 day trip and we just used it as an excuse to relax. For once we feel good coming back from traveling and we’re happy to be home!

Taking A Step Back From Instagram

I started my blog a long time ago, mainly focusing on relationships and break ups and hoping I was helping other people through what I was going through. And since it’s transformed, it’s more general but I’m still trying to help people through what I’m going through.

I’ve always been a writer, I’ve always been better about hiding behind my words instead of standing in front of a camera. Being an influencer and a blogger goes hand in hand, so I started building my Instagram following and taking on sponsored campaigns. It was fun for a while, but now it’s just work.

I have a blogging epiphany like every 3 months and recently I was staring at my Instagram feed and was noticing what people liked about it and what they didn’t. I was mostly noticing that 90% of my following doesn’t even interact with my posts, but the 10% that do really care about what I’m doing. That’s when it hit me.

I don’t want people to follow me just because I’m following them and I don’t want to follow people just so they follow me. I’ve recently started unfollowing hundreds of accounts, from mommy bloggers, to people who don’t speak the same language as me, to style bloggers who dress a world’s outside my budget. And I’m actually starting to enjoy Instagram again and seeing people who actually inspire me.

Now my 10% who cares has my focus and they are who I really want to target and inspire. Even though my numbers will drop and that will mean less sponsored posts, I’m so much happier creating content on my terms. I’m hoping this will relieve the stress I feel from a stupid app.

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The Best Of My Work Blog Posts

Once you’re in your twenty-somethings, it’s impossible not to talk about work. Here are some of my best work blog posts, hope they offer you some kind of help or hope that you’re not the only one struggling!

First Day of Work Thoughts

Moving On Professionally

A Guide To Quitting Your First Job

How to Disconnect From Work

 

woman wearing purple shirt holding smartphone white sitting on chair
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My Completed Winter Bucket List

I will be the first to admit that my winter bucket list was way too ambitious for someone who was moving out of state and starting a new job. I like to push myself in the winter months though because I tend to get lazy. I did pretty well, but I’m looking forward to including some of these items on my spring bucket list and knocking it out of the park.

  1. Move to New Hampshire!
  2. Learn to play guitar
  3. Go to the gym 3x a week
  4. Text my friends at least once a week
  5. Go to a concert
  6. Read 5 books
  7. Be more productive after work
  8. Start journaling again
  9. Keep my blog stats up
  10. Go on a weekend trip
  11. 7,500 Instagram followers
  12. 650 Facebook likes
  13. 2,000 Twitter followers
  14. Make at least one snow angel!
  15. Get a new piercing
  16. Finish my photo album
  17. Send “we moved!” cards to friends and family
  18. Explore one new town in New England

What’s one thing you did this winter that you’re proud of?