Leaving Your Home

I’ve lived in New Jersey basically my whole life. I was born in another state, lived in another, but that was all before memories really started to form. I grew up in New Jersey, went to college in New Jersey, and built my life here.

And while I love everything about this extremely underrated state, I never wanted to stay here forever. First I wanted to go to college in Canada, then maybe Ireland, then I wanted to move south as quick as I could. But I never did. I stayed. Until now.

Now I’m leaving my home and I don’t think it’s quite hit me yet that everything I know will be a 6 hour drive away when I move to New Hampshire. All of my friends, most of my family, my coworkers, and familiarity will be so far gone. It’s nerve-wracking.

But I’m ready to leave it behind. My adult life has become so busy anyway that I think some distance between me and all of those things will actually make the bond stronger. If the bond becomes weaker, maybe it wasn’t meant to be in the first place.

I think it’s so important to start over somewhere new, to live in new places, to meet new people. Those experiences help shape you into a well-rounded person – it’s part of the reason I travel as much as I can. It makes me a better person. And even though I’m terrible at new things and meeting new people, I at least have to try.

It’s so sad to leave your home, but there is a whole world out there to explore and we owe it to ourselves to experience it.

woman sitting on chair beside brown table
Photo by Elle Hughes on Pexels.com

Moving On Professionally

It can be really really hard to decide when your time is up at a job.

I have only worked at two different companies after graduating college, so my experience is limited. But at my first job, I was there 6 months and knew there was no real growth potential there because I was their only marketer on staff and I was making peanuts. There were some other red flags and even fresh out of college I knew it was time to move on.

It’s easy to start applying to jobs, go on a few casual interviews. It’s hard to say goodbye to the people you work with every day, who you eat lunch with every day, people you’ve grown so close with. And it’s hard to turn your back on a place that gave you a job, a great opportunity, and the skills to move forward.

Now I can easily tell when I need to move on when I feel like I’m not being challenged or I am just generally unhappy from day to day. So I give myself two options: 1. Ask for a change or 2. Find a new job. Once you make the decision to move on, you’re faced with the time consuming work of applications and interviews. It can seem daunting, it can even convince you to stay where you are just a little bit longer because of all the time it takes.

But we all do it, we all move on. And your employer really should be happy for you, their goal should have always been to help you grow and if there is no place for you to go with that growth then it should be clear to them you will move on. If your employer isn’t like that, then it should also be clear to them that you won’t be sticking around.

It’s hard to move on professionally, but the risk is so necessary. For your happiness, your health, and your development.

woman holding pen beside laptop
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

The Girl I’ve Tried To Be

I’ve never really felt like I fit in. Being quite an introvert and a homebody, I’ve felt myself try to change on many occasions to please other people and to just be accepted.

I’ve tried to be the girl that was too cool for school. The girl that only kept a few friends, hated all her teachers, hated her parents, and just didn’t try very hard. It left me with only a few options for college and no friends after I left for college. I chose to be around the wrong people, so leaving them behind wasn’t hard.

I’ve tried to just fit in. I felt like I was inserting myself into other people’s friendships the first two years of college. Thanks to a couple of great people who helped me along the way, I found a group but had to do everything I could to actually become a member of that group. I felt lost, felt like I was being pulled in 100 different directions.

I’ve tried to be the party girl who just didn’t care. And I didn’t, for a while. It was probably the only time I felt people enjoyed being in my company but it was all an act. An alcohol-induced version of myself that was much more fun and much more charming than sober me. When all was said and done and there weren’t $2-you-call-its every Thursday-Monday in the real world – I was empty.

I’ve tried to be myself and that just left me more hurt than any of the facades. Every time I tried to push past my awkward walls and reveal the innocence inside me, someone would come along and damage it fast. To the point where I can barely see my old self anymore, to the point where I’m so guarded I don’t even know who to be.

So I retreat and stay where it’s safe. Make an appearance every once in a while, try to show the people I love that I love them without feeling like I’m trying to be something I’m not. The girls I’ve tried to be all haunt me, I’m just trying not to be a ghost of myself anymore.

photo of woman
Photo by Tobi on Pexels.com

November Recap

November is coming to an end and it was a whirlwind of a month! Here’s a recap of some of my favorites.

Favorite Show: Rewatching Vampire Diaries!

Favorite memory: My dog going nuts when I picked her up from my boyfriend’s parents house after two days away ♥️

Favorite place: Egypt

Favorite meal: Alllll the falafel

Favorite Instagram: The Mediterranean Sea is pretty impressive.

Favorite Tweet: World Kindness Day

Favorite book: I actually reread the Hunger Games trilogy!

Favorite blog post: Analyzing my negative thoughts.

Favorite collaboration: Sooo many collabs for Christmas season, but I have to give a shout out to the Mighty Patch

Tell me one thing about your November in the comments!

Posts You May Have Missed

I’m in Egypt this week! I haven’t had time to write a lot of posts in November due to work obligations and planned trips. So while I’m away, why not catch up on some of my favorite posts that you might have missed? I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving 🙂 xoxo Rosie

  1. 24 Hours of Negative Thoughts
  2. Living with Migraines
  3. Why I Deleted My Facebook
  4. Mid-Relationship Crisis
  5. Finding a Home in People

Give Yourself A Break

If you read my post where I documented all of my negative thoughts in 24 hours, you’ll know that I have a lot of negative thoughts about myself. We are so hard on ourselves. And this is on top of the weight that the world is already putting on our shoulders. Responsibilities are always going to pile up, people are always going to disappoint you, and life is just not going to go as planned.

But that’s okay. Seriously, give yourself a break.

You can’t control the actions of others. You can’t control how people treat you, you can’t control life’s unforeseen twists and turns. And you can’t punish yourself for the things you can’t control. Sometimes people are just going to suck and sometimes bad things are just going to happen.

For the things you can control, be realistic. You can’t always control every aspect of your job, you can’t just quit when time’s get tough. You can’t always control how much time you have in a day to just be yourself. But you can empower yourself to learn how to deal with it better, to speak up for yourself, or to make changes when change is necessary.

But you seriously need to give yourself a break.

Take one day this week to jot down every negative thing you thought about yourself. See how hard you’re being and how unrealistic you’re being. Because you deserve better from other people, but you definitely deserve better from yourself.

woman sitting on a cliff watching the body of water
Photo by Adrijana on Pexels.com