10 Things I Never Knew I Needed In A Boyfriend

I was very independent before getting in a relationship and didn’t think I’d become so dependent when I got into one. But it’s not dependence in a bad way, it’s dependence in the way that now I have someone to help, someone to lean on, and someone to be there for me. I didn’t know I needed all these things until I had them. Here are 10 things I never knew I needed in a boyfriend:

  1. Someone who lets me win sometimes, but not all the time.
  2. Someone to take care of me.
  3. Someone who might not necessarily find joy in all the things I like to do, but will come with me and pretend to enjoy them anyway.
  4. Someone who will put my success and future first when the time is right.
  5. Someone who is more fearless than me, because I’m a chicken who likes to make big plans with no execution.
  6. Someone who will squash the bugs, open the jars, and make me lunch when I’m too tired.
  7. Someone who is willing to put in an equal amount of work, if not more.
  8. Someone who sees right through my mood swings.
  9. Someone who would do anything for me, but can still take care of themselves.
  10. Someone who is there, all the time, but you still miss when they leave for an hour.
affection blur boy close up
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Yay 3k! Answers To Your Questions

Thank you all for your questions! Whenever I post an ask for questions, I get so nervous no one is going to respond haha! I am thrilled to welcome 3,000 followers to my WordPress blog and to give you all a chance to learn a little bit more about me. If any of these questions/answers spark more questions for you – feel free to ask me! And if you’re new here I’d love if you’d just drop a smiley face or hello in the comments.

1.What’s the best compliment you ever received?

It’s hard to narrow it down to one, but I think the best compliments are ones that are about things you didn’t know people noticed and are from people you didn’t even know noticed you. Throwing it back to 7th grade, I was in an English class where we all became really close friends and one boy wrote us all little notes at the end of the year and his note described me as a rebel without a cause and went on a little bit complimenting me. It’s always stuck with me, I might still have it in a box somewhere.

2. Where do you see your blog in 1, 3 and 5 year’s time?

In one year, I imagine I’ll still be in the same place I am now. In three years, I would hope I’ve grown a bit and finally reached 10k on Instagram so I can have the swipe up feature and promote my blog/brands more. In five years, I honestly don’t know if the influencer side of my blog will still be around (like working with brands or managing my instagram). It’s exhausting and I might just revert back to blogging without any pressure.

3. What is your next big goal in life in general?

Hmm this is tough because I like to set mini goals for myself and don’t often look too far into the future. I’ve never been the kind of person to say “I want to be making three figures by the time I’m 35!” or “I NEED to be married by 29!” My only main goals that I am continuously working at are traveling as much as I possibly can and finding true comfort and happiness with myself.

4. Do you frequently get contacted by companies for sponsored posts since your blog is so big?!

Nope. Lol I don’t consider my blog to be very big at all and it’s actually taken me almost 4 years to get where I am today which would be considered slow in the blogging world. I am contacted maybe once a month by companies, most of those are asking me to do things for free or in exchange for product so I don’t normally take them up on the offer. I am part of a lot of influencer networks (Social Native, Ambassadher, ApexDrop) where they partner me with brands and I either get paid or I only accept product that I really love/is worth my time in price and quality.

5. What’s one piece of advice you would go back and give yourself when you were first starting out as a blogger?

Do more research and ask more questions to other bloggers. There were so many blogging tools I missed out on my first couple years because I was just winging it. There are so many facebook groups to help out about blogging and articles about growing engagement and influencer networks. I wish I knew more sooner.

6. What’s underrated about New Jersey?

It has everything in one place. The ocean, the mountains, farms, and even cities are not too far away. The scenery of New Jersey is just breathtaking but most people never get much further than Hoboken or the Newark airport so they never get to see it. Asbury Park is a hub of art and music, the jersey shore is magnificent when all the shoobies leave, and the hiking brings you to massive waterfalls and great foliage. I love NJ!

7. Of your friends family etc who reads your blog? Would you ever go to a blogger bash?

My friends read my blog, my boyfriend’s family sometimes reads my blog, people I know from college still read it. My family doesn’t read it too much but I know they have read it in the past. I would love to go to a blogger meet up, but I don’t think I’d like to go to any blogger conventions just yet.

8. How do you find new and interesting content/subjects to write about? Also, do you plan your posts or write when you feel like?

I just write about what I know. I don’t think it’s always interesting, but it’s usually something I get off my chest. My inspiration usually comes from a part of a conversation I’m having and I just jot down the idea. I write when I’m inspired, I can’t force myself to write it just comes out awful. But I save the posts and schedule them because I like to post at least 2x a week and ideas are mostly always flowing for me.

9. How do you promote your posts? What works best for you?

I try to post twice a week and when I do I will “reschedule” my blog post so it posts on the WordPress reader more than once through the day. I also share on Facebook and Twitter but really need to work on getting readers through those platforms.

10. What’s one of your biggest pet peeves?

People who try too hard to fit in or be funny or just get noticed in the group. It makes me cringe and the more they try to be something they’re not, the more I stay away from them.

11. Favorite book?
The Outsiders

12. What’s one thing you admire about your boyfriend?

His patience. When we first started dating I was so grateful for how he allowed me to go at my own pace. Even now, he’s great with just giving me space and letting me talk when I’m ready – even if it takes a little bit of reminding for him to get the hint that I need some quiet.

13. How’s your doggo doing?

Sooooo good! She’s so well behaved and is just perfect – we are proud doggo parents.

14. Dream job?

This is terrible, but my dream job is to have no job at all lol.

15. What’s one thing you can’t live without?

Music. It’s pretty much the only thing that relieves my anxiety and helps me to feel like I fit in somewhere!

If I missed anyone’s questions, I am so sorry and please drop them below and I will answer! Thank you all for the support, I hope you enjoyed learning a little bit more about me!

Missing Being Single And Missing Being In A Relationship

You always want what you can’t have, right? That seems to ring especially true when it comes to relationships. You want the person who doesn’t want you or you want to be single again or you want to be in a relationship again.

When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural to miss being single from time to time. New love is exciting and when you’re single, you can find as much new love as you want. You can go on first dates and get butterflies, you can openly meet new people and get your flirt on at the bar, and you can be fiercely independent. It’s those winces of feelings you remember from the old days that make you miss being single.

And they also make you forget any bad thing that was associated with being single. Those good feelings make you forget how terrible dating can be, how lonely being alone can be, or how frustrating trying to find someone can be.

Because when you’re single, you’re going to miss being in a relationship. And it’s not easy to find someone that you get along with or enjoy spending all your time with. Sure, being single can be fun. But being in a relationship offers warmth, comfort, and someone to depend on. You always have a buddy to do something with. It’s those winces of feelings from the old days that make you miss being in a relationship.

It’s natural to miss both sides because both bring something to the table. The most important piece of advice I can offer, though, is being happy with what you have. If you’re happy being single, then be that. If you’re happy in your relationship, then stay there. Don’t throw away a good thing based off of misconstrued memories.

man sitting beside woman in front of table
Photo by Elle Hughes on Pexels.com

Completed Fall Bucket List

Oh boy winter is here. It is my least favorite season and with the move coming up I know it’s going to be a stressful one. Coordinating gifts and holiday plans has already got my head spinning! Fall was great, we did a lot and saw a lot and lots of great things happened – I’m kind of just ready for the dust to settle, though! What’s one thing you did this fall?

1. Go apple picking
2. Go pumpkin picking
3. Learn something new
4. Knit a sweater for my dog
5. Make macrame wall hangings
It is in a very sad state right now but it’s in progress…
6. Reach 650 Facebook likes
7. Reach 7,100 Instagram followers
8. Reach 1,350 Twitter followers
9. Make more time for the gym
10. Introduce a habit that will help with stress
11. Watch a bunch of halloween movies

12. Change my hair
13. Go to a concert
14. Go out of the country
Read about Egypt here!
15. Go out of the state 3 times
16. Read 3 books

 

Leaving Your Home

I’ve lived in New Jersey basically my whole life. I was born in another state, lived in another, but that was all before memories really started to form. I grew up in New Jersey, went to college in New Jersey, and built my life here.

And while I love everything about this extremely underrated state, I never wanted to stay here forever. First I wanted to go to college in Canada, then maybe Ireland, then I wanted to move south as quick as I could. But I never did. I stayed. Until now.

Now I’m leaving my home and I don’t think it’s quite hit me yet that everything I know will be a 6 hour drive away when I move to New Hampshire. All of my friends, most of my family, my coworkers, and familiarity will be so far gone. It’s nerve-wracking.

But I’m ready to leave it behind. My adult life has become so busy anyway that I think some distance between me and all of those things will actually make the bond stronger. If the bond becomes weaker, maybe it wasn’t meant to be in the first place.

I think it’s so important to start over somewhere new, to live in new places, to meet new people. Those experiences help shape you into a well-rounded person – it’s part of the reason I travel as much as I can. It makes me a better person. And even though I’m terrible at new things and meeting new people, I at least have to try.

It’s so sad to leave your home, but there is a whole world out there to explore and we owe it to ourselves to experience it.

woman sitting on chair beside brown table
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Moving On Professionally

It can be really really hard to decide when your time is up at a job.

I have only worked at two different companies after graduating college, so my experience is limited. But at my first job, I was there 6 months and knew there was no real growth potential there because I was their only marketer on staff and I was making peanuts. There were some other red flags and even fresh out of college I knew it was time to move on.

It’s easy to start applying to jobs, go on a few casual interviews. It’s hard to say goodbye to the people you work with every day, who you eat lunch with every day, people you’ve grown so close with. And it’s hard to turn your back on a place that gave you a job, a great opportunity, and the skills to move forward.

Now I can easily tell when I need to move on when I feel like I’m not being challenged or I am just generally unhappy from day to day. So I give myself two options: 1. Ask for a change or 2. Find a new job. Once you make the decision to move on, you’re faced with the time consuming work of applications and interviews. It can seem daunting, it can even convince you to stay where you are just a little bit longer because of all the time it takes.

But we all do it, we all move on. And your employer really should be happy for you, their goal should have always been to help you grow and if there is no place for you to go with that growth then it should be clear to them you will move on. If your employer isn’t like that, then it should also be clear to them that you won’t be sticking around.

It’s hard to move on professionally, but the risk is so necessary. For your happiness, your health, and your development.

woman holding pen beside laptop
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The Girl I’ve Tried To Be

I’ve never really felt like I fit in. Being quite an introvert and a homebody, I’ve felt myself try to change on many occasions to please other people and to just be accepted.

I’ve tried to be the girl that was too cool for school. The girl that only kept a few friends, hated all her teachers, hated her parents, and just didn’t try very hard. It left me with only a few options for college and no friends after I left for college. I chose to be around the wrong people, so leaving them behind wasn’t hard.

I’ve tried to just fit in. I felt like I was inserting myself into other people’s friendships the first two years of college. Thanks to a couple of great people who helped me along the way, I found a group but had to do everything I could to actually become a member of that group. I felt lost, felt like I was being pulled in 100 different directions.

I’ve tried to be the party girl who just didn’t care. And I didn’t, for a while. It was probably the only time I felt people enjoyed being in my company but it was all an act. An alcohol-induced version of myself that was much more fun and much more charming than sober me. When all was said and done and there weren’t $2-you-call-its every Thursday-Monday in the real world – I was empty.

I’ve tried to be myself and that just left me more hurt than any of the facades. Every time I tried to push past my awkward walls and reveal the innocence inside me, someone would come along and damage it fast. To the point where I can barely see my old self anymore, to the point where I’m so guarded I don’t even know who to be.

So I retreat and stay where it’s safe. Make an appearance every once in a while, try to show the people I love that I love them without feeling like I’m trying to be something I’m not. The girls I’ve tried to be all haunt me, I’m just trying not to be a ghost of myself anymore.

photo of woman
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