The Hookup On: 2k Q&A!

Thank you all for asking me amazing questions and celebrating my 2,000 WordPress followers with me. Below are the answers to your questions! 🙂

1. Has your blog followed the path that you wanted it to take or has the content you published changed? What’s been the biggest influence of that change?

So my blog has definitely taken the path I wanted it to take, but the content has really changed. It started out as a relationship blog called Hookup Culture, but as I evolved and grew (this blog is three years old as of the end of October) I changed it to Rosie Culture and made it more personal. The biggest influence of that change was graduating college and then ultimately leaving behind the single life and entering the relationship I’m currently in.

2. What’s your favorite blog post that you’ve done?

I really love the series I did on being better off without my exes. You can start here and go backwards.

3. Least favorite?

Anything I wrote when I was first starting out lol. I really had to dig deep for this one, a very dry post about Tinder.

4. What sort of influence does your blog have on your real life (or vice versa)?

When I was in college, it was almost kind of a negative impact because boys would ask me if I was writing about them and it just created like this weird vibe when I was dating people. Now, it has been super helpful to me mostly because of the advice I’m offered and I have an avenue that I’m not judged on.

5. What do you like most about the U.K? 

While it’s on my list of places to go, I’ve never been to the UK! I have to say my favorite thing that I know about the country though is the awesome accents and slang! 🙂

6. How long have you been blogging, and what are some of your favorites to follow?

At the end of this month, it will be three years! Here are some blogs that I really love 🙂

  1. StyledbyMcKenz
  2. Dishing up Chic
  3. One Degree, No Direction
  4. Healthy & Psyched
  5. Single in the Suburbs

7. A question for my boyfriend: Do you read Rosie’s blog? Is it helpful to your relationship to read her insights or do you feel awkward knowing certain posts are about you that random bloggers are reading?

I do read Rosie’s blog! I check it almost every day, and I actually read it occasionally when it crossed my path in college, back in the Hookup Culture days.

I think it’s super helpful to read it. Sometimes it’s a little weird to know things are about me and strangers are reading them, but I’m comfortable enough with myself and with us that it doesn’t make me uncomfortable. I think that in relationships, the most important things are honesty and communication. And it’s not always easy to be honest about the tough things, or figure out a way to express how you’re feeling. The blog really helps me understand where Rosie’s head is at on things – how she’s feeling, what she’s feeling, what works, what doesn’t – and it even gives me insight into how things have made her feel previously. Our relationship is successful partly because of this blog and the WordPress community because both provide her with an outlet to clear her head and get her thoughts out there. Plus, she literally puts checklists of what she wants to do each season up, which is like handing me date ideas on a silver platter.

8. How do you balance blogging, work, social calendar and the other things life throws your way?

I think it’s a little easier for me because social media and writing come very naturally to me. Usually I write my blog posts during my lunch break or while I’m walking on the treadmill then schedule them. I also have a content calendar for my Instagram. I just kind of consider it a second job that always needs my attention!

9. What makes you more excited on your own blog?

Sometimes I ramble when I write, so I get pretty excited when people leave comments and actually understand what I’m saying lol.

10. What makes your readers get connected to your blog?

I don’t really know. I know my break up and dating posts help a lot of people because it’s not something widely talked about and I always try to be as honest as possible.

11. Have you ever regretted a post that you’ve written?

No, but I do feel bad about how hard I was on some people I wrote about.

12. Do you ever struggle with how much of your life you want to share on your blog? Are there any topics/issues that are off limits?

I do struggle sometimes with how much I feel like I can really put out there because of my professional life. I limit my cursing and anything inappropriate. One thing I almost never talk about anywhere is politics.

 Thanks everyone for reading! xoxo

Rosie


Your Relationship Will Always Require Work

I grew up reading romances and pawning over Nicholas Sparks movies. It seemed to me that love was hard at first, but then you would get over the initial battle and everything would be like a fairy tale.

But I think we all learn the hard way that relationships are hard, even when you’ve found the right one.

Emotions are emotions. They are unreliable and powerful, and love may be the most volatile of them all. Even if you’ve met the one, your relationship will always require work.

You’ll always find something to fight about whether it’s over getting enough attention or putting the cap back on the toothpaste.

It requires constant effort. You can’t just buy flowers during the honeymoon stage then sit back and relax for the next 50 years. What kind of life or relationship would that be?

But the effort and the work and the bickering is all worth it for the person you love and want to be with. There will be trials and tests, big and little problems. Life isn’t a fairy tale, but a little work in a relationship goes a long way towards your happy ending.

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Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/by_le/

The Hookup On: Blog Posts You Missed

I have been a super busy bee lately, so I decided to link you all to some of my pretty old blog posts that you probably missed but I still love!

Check out the posts below and feel free to leave any of your favorite posts in the comments for me to check out 🙂

You could have met your future spouse before you even turned 16 ?!!?

Be your own #1 fan

Do you like him or do you like the attention?

Can you date someone with the same name as your ex?

Being alone was the most important thing I learned in college

You’re not the exception

Worst online dating pick up lines

And my absolute favorite, the I’m Glad We Didn’t Work Out series. All 6 of the blogs for this series are linked here.

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What I’ve Learned After 1 Year Of Being In A Relationship

So I had taken about three years off from committed relationships before diving into the one I’m in now. The last real committed relationship I was in lasted four years and this one has just hit the one year anniversary! 🙂

I learned a lot about myself in the time I spent casually dating and being single. It took me a long time to recover from my last break up, to find myself, and to open up to someone again. So here are the things I’ve learned in the one year I’ve been in a relationship:

  1. No two people are the same – don’t compare your current boyfriend to your ex.
  2. Being alone is still very important, you can’t spend all your time with your significant other without going nuts.
  3. There will be doubts, you just have to know if they’re valid or not.
  4. Communication will save your relationship. Be honest, always.
  5. You’ll drift away from your friends. That’s a big part of being in the honeymoon stage and growing older in general.
  6. No one is as happy as they make themselves seem on social media. Everyone fights, bickers, and gets annoyed at each other.
  7. Always show appreciation. I am constantly surprised by how patient my boyfriend is with me and I never stop thanking him for it.
  8. Be yourself from day one. I was weird when we went on our first date and I’m probably a little weirder now, but there were no surprises as the relationship went on.
  9. Being in a relationship isn’t like being in a jail. I used to cringe at the thought of being tied down, but it’s really not bad when you find the right person.
  10. Take everything at your own pace. People all around me are getting engaged and buying houses. But I’m a slowpoke when it comes to big steps and that’s okay!
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Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/149902454@N08/

The Pressure Of Being In A Relationship In Your 20’s

Every other week someone I know is getting engaged, buying a house, or getting married. When you’re in your twenties, there are three kinds of people in your friend group. The single ones, the ones who met their significant other in high school or college, and the ones who met their significant other after college or a little later in their twenties.

I’m 24 and any friend who met their love in high school or college are now engaged. I fall into the category of the ones who met their love after college, so I feel a little behind. I feel deeply for my single friends, because no matter how happy you are being single, you still feel left out sometimes.

Now I feel a lot of pressure being in a relationship in this stage of my life because everyone automatically expects that engagement and marriage are a few short years away.

But a little over a year ago I didn’t really believe in marriage. I didn’t want it, I didn’t want a relationship, and now while I’m in a relationship I’m still not 100% on board with the idea of marriage.

When I mentioned my boyfriend and I are planning on moving in together, I was asked if I thought a ring was in the future and I replied, “god, I hope not.”

I’m just not ready, but I feel a lot of pressure when a lot of people my age are ready and have been ready. It’s just what comes with my age. When you’re single in your twenties, you’re pressured to find a boyfriend. When you’re in a relationship in your twenties, you’re pressured to get engaged.

As much as I know what I want, it’s hard to ignore that nagging pressure.

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Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/55638953@N04/

Do People Really Get What They Deserve?

I pretty much believe in karma. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve begun to believe it in more. Mostly because I want to believe that the kindness I put out will find it’s way back to me. It’s a little selfish, but I’m also doing my part to make the world a little nicer.

But I know a lot of bad people. People who have betrayed, lied, and broken other people without care. And then I’ve gone on to see them live perfectly happy lives.

Is it fair?

Is it fair to the people that they betrayed, lied to, and ripped apart? While some of us have been put in the position of piecing their lives back together, the person who committed the crime walked free.

No one is 100% guiltless, but I don’t think we all deserve the hand we’re given. And I think bad people also get away with too much. So I believe in karma, but I also know life isn’t fair.

Unless at some point everyone really does end up getting  what they deserve and we just don’t always get to see the results? It’s a bitter pill to swallow that no matter what you do, life may not sway in your favor.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/j_dub_warrington/

Getting Out Of A Relationship Rut

If you’ve been with someone for one year or ten years, you have probably hit a relationship rut at some point. I think these are the times that challenge us the most, that force us to decide if this is what we really want.

It’s a time where you’re probably fighting a lot without a good explanation, where you’re unhappy, and where you don’t know what to do. The most comforting advice I can offer is that everyone goes through them and you’re not alone. It’s okay to question if this is what you want to and to realize your unhappiness. But you have to do something about it, you can’t just let it build up and explode.

Getting out of a relationship rut takes communication that sometimes hurts. It’s alllll about the honesty. But when you put all of your feelings on the table and openly listen to your partner’s feelings, then you’ll be able to see how you got here in the first place.

If you’re like me, relationship ruts usually occur when you let things get too comfortable. When you stop going on dates, stop putting make up on for when they come over, stop trying to look good for them and make them feel good. It’s when you start ordering in and watching Netflix every night and stop making them feel special.

And you don’t even notice it happening because it’s nice to feel comfortable. But it’s overwhelmingly boring and unhelpful to stick to the same routine and just stop appreciating each other.

If you’re in a relationship rut, don’t worry. We’ve all been there and if you want things to work then you can make them work. Be open and honest when you don’t feel good about the way things are going, the earlier you make a move – the better!

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/smilekerry/