Friendships in Your 20’s

One thing no one prepared me for was how different friendships become after you leave college. In college, you live with your best friends. You eat with them, go everywhere with them, you rely on them like family. Then *poof* graduation comes and you all have to separate.

It’s hard to get on the same schedule after that. It’s hard to see each other, make commitments to each other, and stay in touch. It’s hard to keep that family type of feeling alive because you’re relying on other people now.

It kind of feels like things start to fall apart because you were so used to knowing everything about someone and now you only get to see them once a month. Friend dynamics change. You make new ones, old ones fall off the map, and some friendships start to take priority over others.

Effort is required on both ends to keep a friendship going and it’s frustrating when you don’t live near each other and more effort is being put in on one side and none on the other. I think friendships in your 20’s means sometimes we just have friends who are there for a good time, not the hard times. And we can’t put all our care into those friendships anymore.

It’s fine to keep those people around for the good times, but we can’t get upset when they don’t reciprocate the care we show. Then there truly are friends who are in it for the long haul. Friends who you only see once every 3 months, only text once a month, who you can still turn to at the end of a long day even though it feels like you’ve been strangers for a while.

Friendships in your 20’s is all about putting yourself and those who care first and leaving the rest as a secondary thought. We’re growing up, we can’t put all our time and energy into people who don’t do the same for us. It’s sad, but it’s time to move on.

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Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/emilio_k/

The Valentine’s Day Archive

I’ve basically never minded Valentine’s Day. I think the only year it really bothered me was a couple months after me and my long term ex broke up and I went to a party, cried, ordered a ton of pizza and cried some more. IT HAPPENS.

I’ve also never been super excited about the day. I like taking the chance to show a lil love to the people in my life, but I think that should be done regardless of a holiday.

ANYWAY! Here’s some posts I’ve written in the past about Valentine’s Day to get you in the mood. 😉 Enjoy!

  1. Love Yourself This Valentine’s Day
  2. DON’T Hate on Valentine’s Day
  3. Break the Valentine’s Day Mold
  4. Valentine’s Day Craze
  5. 10 Ways to Celebrate the Little Things (for Valentine’s Day and all year!)

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A Recap Of The Places I’ve Lived In My Twenties

I think I am the exception to most people my age, but since graduating college I will have lived in 5 different places. I graduated at 22 and am now 24 to put things in context for you. That’s 5 places in 2 and a half years and you can bet they were all life lessons.

When I graduated from college, I convinced my parents to let me stay at the house I’d been living in the past two years of college because I got an internship sort of nearby. College campuses in the summer are a whole new type of weird I can’t even explain and they are also very empty. I spent a lot of time living between different houses and traveling a long ways to work. When the internship ended, I moved home and got a job there.

Living at home is definitely something I know a lot of people can relate to. It’s like you automatically revert back  to your 16 year old self when living with your parents. My parents had moved out of my childhood home when I was in college, so this was pretty strange for me. I didn’t really have my own room that was truly mine with any space for my stuff. I saved a lot of money, but my job was very basic and my parents were driving me nuts. So 6 months after I moved in, I got a new job and moved out.

I was in a rush and on a deadline, so I moved into a house with 3 other roommates. They were all strangers and they continued to be strangers the 10 months I lived there. I’m not very outgoing and everyone was on different schedules and were different ages. I spent most of the time in my room or tip toeing to the bathroom and kitchen. I really thought it was going to be super temporary, but I stayed there for almost a year until it became just too weird for me.

So, I moved out again. This time into a single apartment with a small kitchenette attached to the living room. I was paying for everything myself so I didn’t buy cable/wifi and I also didn’t have a freezer or oven. I’m coming up on a year at this apartment and it’s kind of amazing that I lived without things that a lot of people consider necessities. While I loved the apartment, it was time to take a next step and move in with my boyfriend.

In a few weeks we’ll be moving into a two bedroom, two bathroom apartment with a loft that I’m obsessed with. After this, I really hope to stay put for a while because anyone who has moved a lot knows that moving in and out is not fun. At all.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/hmoong/

5 Thoughts You Have When Moving In With Your Significant Other

1. But what if we break up?

Call me a cynic, but my first thought was what if something really dramatic happens and we break up and we get stuck in this lease????

2. Will we get sick of each other?

Right now it feels really inconvenient to not live with each other, but maybe we’ll find out that there is really such a thing as too much time together.

3. Am I going to have to give up my alone time?

I’ve expressed my need for alone time often to my boyfriend so I’m not that worried about it…but we’ll see.

4. How big of a next step is this really?

I was kind of like yeah moving in together will be convenient, but other people are like ooooh are you getting a ring soon?

5. It’s not really that big of a deal.

Some people will feel like it’s a big deal, but for me it’s just a way to make our relationship better. Sure, all of the above are concerns. But things happen and maybes can’t keep you from diving in to something that will make you happy!

Any advice for couples who are moving in together? Leave it below!

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Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/wendynelsonphoto/

Happy New Year

I’m currently in the Azores time zone and the New Year is just a few hours away! I can’t wait to update everyone on my trip and post all the blogs I’ve been writing during my very long travels.

I hope everyone has a great New Year, it’s a time to reflect and start over. It’s a time to prove we can do better. I appreciate every single person reading this blog and wish you all the best.

Happy New Year!

Xoxo

Rosie

Do People Change?

I often see the worst in people. So when someone tells me they will change, I barely believe them. This is partly because I don’t want to be disappointed and partly because most of the time, they don’t change.

I think there are the parts of us that make us who we are and those are the parts no one should ever ask you to change. Whether it be your friends, a significant other, or family. They can’t ask you to change, but they shouldn’t be forced to deal with something they don’t like. So you can try to change for your significant other or you can let the relationship go.

If you’re asking someone to change and they’re unwilling or can’t see why they need to change, then it will never happen. You’re putting all your eggs in a basket that’s ready to fall apart.

If they can see the change that needs to be made, they may have a greater chance at actually making that change. But most of the time, relationship problems come from the core of someone. It comes from a part of their personality that has been there for years, something that is deep rooted. Can people really change those parts of themselves?

It all depends on your want or need to change and the recognition of the problem. I’m sure people can change, I just rarely see it.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/kerenzayuen/

Dealing With Disappointment

People are going to disappoint you in life, it’s just going to happen. They’re going to lie to you, lead you on, put in less effort, hurt you, or pretend to be someone they’re not.

You’re going to disappoint yourself in life, it’s just going to happen. You’re going to make the wrong decision, you’re not going to speak out when you should, you’re going to lie or hurt someone or be someone you’re not.

The only way to deal with it is to analyze the situation and decide whether it deserves your forgiveness or not. Because not everyone will. And dropping them from your life might be hard, but necessary. And some people do deserve your forgiveness. It might be hard to give it to them. It might be hard to forgive yourself.

The hard times in life end up being the times where decisions are made that can better your life. When someone disappoints you, only weigh your feelings on the matter. No one can tell you or convince you how to feel. Then take those feelings and make the best decision for yourself.

Disappointment hurts, there’s no way around it. But in these time, put yourself first and be a little selfish. You’re the one who hurts, so you are allowed to decide how to make yourself feel better.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/babyowls/