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A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away – I used to be on Tinder. Yikes.
I was so reckless with my heart at the time. When we matched, I didn’t say a word. We sporadically messaged each other through out the months, sending emojis or my favorite pick up line: “How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?”
Months after we matched, we finally committed to a conversation. We had friends in common, more specifically one friend. And it was one friend that I had a very rocky path with.
As most things go during your 20’s and a stage of instant gratification, we were obsessed with each other before even meeting each other. The first time we officially met was when we FaceTimed. I was at my parents house on break, you lived nearby to where I went to school. I felt so uncomfortable, but also giddy.
Then the actual first time we met was pretty strange. Because I didn’t know you, but I still got in your car and we went on a first date. We both ordered the same dish and I barely ate because of nerves.
But it was all so unbelievably innocent, so much more innocent than my reckless heart was used to at the time. I was wrapped up in a world of finally being single in college, breaking hearts and getting my heart broken, and trying not to care about anything. In the midst of that, we went on our first date. And for a little while, I was a little less reckless and a little more innocent. But only for a little while.
One of my goals for this winter is to reach 500 likes on my Facebook page! Currently I am at 494 likes, so only 6 away. Which is such a little number, but I think in the last few months I’ve gotten like one like per month. Meh.
SO I need your help! If you have a Facebook and would like to help out, please head over to https://www.facebook.com/hookupcultures/ and give my page a like 🙂 If your blog has a Facebook page, please drop the link in the comments and I will give it a like as well!
Thanks so much in advance for all of your support!
All I ever see these days is how people hate the “talking” phase of a relationship. I hear baby boomers diss us for not knowing how to date and millennials despising their almost-relationships.
Meanwhile, I’ve skipped the “talking” phase all together and have gone straight to dating. Because going on dates isn’t a commitment. There is still no pressure, it is still an almost relationship, but there are no real rules.
Because believe it or not, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. And if you don’t want to spend two months subtly snapchatting your crush, passively liking their instagrams, and only texting when you’re drunk – then don’t. If you want more, ask for more. Balls up and go out to dinner or get coffee or see a movie. Guy or girl, make the first move.
Anyone who reacts poorly to your first move or your detour from the “talking” phase is not the person for you. Trust me, you want someone who wants what you want. And if they want to putt around and put things on hold and not assign any sort of label to anything – even though casually dating is not a label – then they need to be kicked out of your life anyway.
And getting ghosted is awful, but so is getting rejected. If the person can’t be straight up with you, then they aren’t for you. If they rejected you, then they’re still not for you. It’s not a great feeling but it opens you up to move on.
Dating as a millennial doesn’t have to suck. There are plenty of people in relationships who skipped that “talking” phase you hate so much. Just stop calling it that and go on a first date and assess if you even like each other in real life! I’m sure “talking” works great for some people, but if you’re not one of those people then ditch it.
You don’t have to follow any rules, you can message first on Bumble and it won’t be weird. You can text her on a Monday morning even though you texted her last. Double text them if you have to. It will be okay. If you hate a certain part of dating, then change your rules and make it work for you.
I care a lot, I pretend not to care a lot. There are many things that I pay no mind to – but there are just some things that I care too much about. That don’t deserve as much attention as they get. It’s the ugly truth, these are the things I care too much about:
I can’t believe summer is over and fall is alive and well!
I would like to be able to reach more of you through Instagram so I can not only enjoy your words, but also your beautiful pictures!
I will, of course, follow back. Or if you want you can just drop your insta name in the comments and I’ll give you a follow!
If you have followed me and noticed I didn’t follow back or unfollowed you – please tell me! Sometimes I just don’t see it or I accidentally unfollow when I’m trying to weed through inactive instagrams or people who spam.
Have a great week