Missing Being Single And Missing Being In A Relationship

You always want what you can’t have, right? That seems to ring especially true when it comes to relationships. You want the person who doesn’t want you or you want to be single again or you want to be in a relationship again.

When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural to miss being single from time to time. New love is exciting and when you’re single, you can find as much new love as you want. You can go on first dates and get butterflies, you can openly meet new people and get your flirt on at the bar, and you can be fiercely independent. It’s those winces of feelings you remember from the old days that make you miss being single.

And they also make you forget any bad thing that was associated with being single. Those good feelings make you forget how terrible dating can be, how lonely being alone can be, or how frustrating trying to find someone can be.

Because when you’re single, you’re going to miss being in a relationship. And it’s not easy to find someone that you get along with or enjoy spending all your time with. Sure, being single can be fun. But being in a relationship offers warmth, comfort, and someone to depend on. You always have a buddy to do something with. It’s those winces of feelings from the old days that make you miss being in a relationship.

It’s natural to miss both sides because both bring something to the table. The most important piece of advice I can offer, though, is being happy with what you have. If you’re happy being single, then be that. If you’re happy in your relationship, then stay there. Don’t throw away a good thing based off of misconstrued memories.

man sitting beside woman in front of table
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Completed Fall Bucket List

Oh boy winter is here. It is my least favorite season and with the move coming up I know it’s going to be a stressful one. Coordinating gifts and holiday plans has already got my head spinning! Fall was great, we did a lot and saw a lot and lots of great things happened – I’m kind of just ready for the dust to settle, though! What’s one thing you did this fall?

1. Go apple picking
2. Go pumpkin picking
3. Learn something new
4. Knit a sweater for my dog
5. Make macrame wall hangings
It is in a very sad state right now but it’s in progress…
6. Reach 650 Facebook likes
7. Reach 7,100 Instagram followers
8. Reach 1,350 Twitter followers
9. Make more time for the gym
10. Introduce a habit that will help with stress
11. Watch a bunch of halloween movies

12. Change my hair
13. Go to a concert
14. Go out of the country
Read about Egypt here!
15. Go out of the state 3 times
16. Read 3 books

 

Moving On Professionally

It can be really really hard to decide when your time is up at a job.

I have only worked at two different companies after graduating college, so my experience is limited. But at my first job, I was there 6 months and knew there was no real growth potential there because I was their only marketer on staff and I was making peanuts. There were some other red flags and even fresh out of college I knew it was time to move on.

It’s easy to start applying to jobs, go on a few casual interviews. It’s hard to say goodbye to the people you work with every day, who you eat lunch with every day, people you’ve grown so close with. And it’s hard to turn your back on a place that gave you a job, a great opportunity, and the skills to move forward.

Now I can easily tell when I need to move on when I feel like I’m not being challenged or I am just generally unhappy from day to day. So I give myself two options: 1. Ask for a change or 2. Find a new job. Once you make the decision to move on, you’re faced with the time consuming work of applications and interviews. It can seem daunting, it can even convince you to stay where you are just a little bit longer because of all the time it takes.

But we all do it, we all move on. And your employer really should be happy for you, their goal should have always been to help you grow and if there is no place for you to go with that growth then it should be clear to them you will move on. If your employer isn’t like that, then it should also be clear to them that you won’t be sticking around.

It’s hard to move on professionally, but the risk is so necessary. For your happiness, your health, and your development.

woman holding pen beside laptop
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The Girl I’ve Tried To Be

I’ve never really felt like I fit in. Being quite an introvert and a homebody, I’ve felt myself try to change on many occasions to please other people and to just be accepted.

I’ve tried to be the girl that was too cool for school. The girl that only kept a few friends, hated all her teachers, hated her parents, and just didn’t try very hard. It left me with only a few options for college and no friends after I left for college. I chose to be around the wrong people, so leaving them behind wasn’t hard.

I’ve tried to just fit in. I felt like I was inserting myself into other people’s friendships the first two years of college. Thanks to a couple of great people who helped me along the way, I found a group but had to do everything I could to actually become a member of that group. I felt lost, felt like I was being pulled in 100 different directions.

I’ve tried to be the party girl who just didn’t care. And I didn’t, for a while. It was probably the only time I felt people enjoyed being in my company but it was all an act. An alcohol-induced version of myself that was much more fun and much more charming than sober me. When all was said and done and there weren’t $2-you-call-its every Thursday-Monday in the real world – I was empty.

I’ve tried to be myself and that just left me more hurt than any of the facades. Every time I tried to push past my awkward walls and reveal the innocence inside me, someone would come along and damage it fast. To the point where I can barely see my old self anymore, to the point where I’m so guarded I don’t even know who to be.

So I retreat and stay where it’s safe. Make an appearance every once in a while, try to show the people I love that I love them without feeling like I’m trying to be something I’m not. The girls I’ve tried to be all haunt me, I’m just trying not to be a ghost of myself anymore.

photo of woman
Photo by Tobi on Pexels.com

November Recap

November is coming to an end and it was a whirlwind of a month! Here’s a recap of some of my favorites.

Favorite Show: Rewatching Vampire Diaries!

Favorite memory: My dog going nuts when I picked her up from my boyfriend’s parents house after two days away ♥️

Favorite place: Egypt

Favorite meal: Alllll the falafel

Favorite Instagram: The Mediterranean Sea is pretty impressive.

Favorite Tweet: World Kindness Day

Favorite book: I actually reread the Hunger Games trilogy!

Favorite blog post: Analyzing my negative thoughts.

Favorite collaboration: Sooo many collabs for Christmas season, but I have to give a shout out to the Mighty Patch

Tell me one thing about your November in the comments!