Doing The Long Distance Relationship Thing

Temporarily, my boyfriend is living in New Jersey while I’m in New Hampshire. And while this is only for a month and not really a long distance relationship, it makes me really reflect on the people who are open to doing long distance.

My first boyfriend and I were long distance for pretty much our whole relationship. We were never more than two hours apart, but many factors ended up keeping us at a distance. When he was in college, I was in high school and when I was in college he was working and living in the city. Our relationship was forced into these spurts of time together on weekends, breaks, etc. Meaning any free time I had was dedicated to him.

And that becomes exceedingly difficult when you’re trying to put down roots somewhere. You can’t just pick up and leave every weekend or else you’ll never feel settled. And then it comes to a point where you don’t want to pick up and leave every weekend because you’re settled.

I think if my boyfriend and I were truly forced to do long distance for more than say 3 months, it would put a lot of strain on our relationship. We are both people that like to go out and do things and dedicating our free time and weekends to a 5 hour drive is just unreasonable on both ends.

I give a lot of credit to the people that can do it and I hope their quality of life and relationship are still in a good place. I’m just not the kind of person who can live off bi-weekly interactions for years at a time. But I can’t knock it if it works for other people.

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Sometimes There’s Nothing To Write About

I look at my blog sometimes and am just so frustrated with the content I’m putting out. Sometimes it’s too fluffy, sometimes it’s too bare, and sometimes it’s too dark. And sometimes there’s just nothing to write about.

While I want to have consistent blog posts for my readers and it seems like something they want that too, my life isn’t always that interesting. I’m not always having some kind of epiphany, quarter life crisis, or relationship realization. I can’t always strip down my soul and spill my guts to you all because I don’t always have something to spill. I try to be as personal and vulnerable as possible, but then I see other bloggers writing about miscarriages, divorces, bankruptcy and I feel so unauthentic.

When there’s nothing to write about, I make lists. I talk about some of my goals, my to-do lists, I promote myself and other bloggers. But it can feel cheap sometimes that I can only give an emotionally and beautifully composed piece of writing to you all every once in a while.

There are a lot of doubts when it comes to being a blogger and a lot of comparisons. I don’t feel that I fit in the stereotypical blogging niche and my audience here on the blog certainly differs from my audience on Instagram. While there is always something to take a photo of, there’s not always something to write about. So I hope everyone will bear with me through the fluff and folly while I wait for inspiration.

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The Best Of My Break Up Blog Posts

Sometimes I read back on my old posts and wish they got a little more love, so I’ll be sharing some links from now on with groupings of my old posts! Enjoy these break up blog posts.

  1. Breaking Up Because I’m Happy
  2. Do What You Have To After A Break Up
  3. Accepting Break Up Blame
  4. The Courage It Takes To End A Relationship
  5. I Can’t Blame Anyone But Myself

Leave a comment on one of the posts if you enjoyed them!

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How Past Relationships Held Me Back

I’ve always felt held back by the people I’ve dated in the past. I think a lot of my relationships ended abruptly, they left me without closure.

Because sometimes I ended things fast because I wasn’t ready for anything serious. And sometimes I was strung along without any explanation at all and then left for dead after the break up.

I tried my best to not let those things affect me, but they always have. Those things put my love life in slow motion. When I finally found someone I wanted to date, I had to make all the first moves because when someone else did it I’d get scared and run away. It took a while to make things official, to even convince myself this was 100% what I wanted.

And even now as we live together I get so many pangs of not knowing what I want in life.

Recently I’ve heard that one of my exes has moved on…I don’t keep tabs on them at all because the more distance I put between me and them helped me feel better. But the news made me realize I’m ready to move on too.

You know when you hear about an ex getting engaged, married, having kids and you just feel mad? I used to feel that way a lot. Like I’m the one who put so much time and effort into you only for you to crush me and use your brand new self on someone so much less deserving than me. Yeah, I was bitter.

But after this recent news, a lot of things became much more clear to me. I don’t care about my exes. I don’t care about them one bit. I still think of them from time to time, but it’s almost like hearing my ex moved on set me straight. A lot of my doubts have faded and I’ve finally cut the strings my exes tied to me.

I feel better, I feel happy, and I feel certain.

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Follow Me On Social Media

I am so so busy trying to unpack and get settled in New Hampshire, so I might be quiet for a while on the blog! In the meantime, make sure to follow me on social media where I will be trying my best to keep the world updated on my move 🙂 Feel free to leave your links in the comments!

Instagram: @rosieculture
Facebook: facebook.com/rosieculture
Twitter: @rosieculture

Winter Bucket List

Guys. I hate winter. I hate snow, I hate being cold, I hate scraping frost off my windshield every morning. It feels like the longest season ever and all I want to do is stay inside – any advice on how to like winter more is appreciate because it makes me miserable. I’m hoping some items on my winter bucket list will make it a little more enjoyable. What’s one thing you want to do this winter?

  1. Move to New Hampshire!
  2. Learn to play guitar
  3. Go to the gym 3x a week
  4. Text my friends at least once a week
  5. Go to a concert
  6. Read 5 books
  7. Be more productive after work
  8. Start journaling again
  9. Keep my blog stats up
  10. Go on a weekend trip
  11. 7,500 Instagram followers
  12. 650 Facebook likes
  13. 2,000 Twitter followers
  14. Make at least one snow angel!
  15. Get a new piercing
  16. Finish my photo album
  17. Send “we moved!” cards to friends and family
  18. Explore one new town in New England

My Word For 2019

For the past two years, I’ve decided to designate a word to my new year instead of resolutions. In 2017, my word was enough and in 2018, my word was presence. I think about my words from time to time throughout the year and never really feel like I’m accomplishing them until I reflect back. Enough has really made an appearance in my life, I have accepted a lot about myself in the past two years and am generally happy. I am still working on presence and I think that’s mostly due to scrolling through social media so often. But I’m aware of the problem and that means I’m closer to fixing it.

My word for 2019 is going to be adventure. While I like to put on a brave face and show everyone how much I love to do new things, new things actually make me extremely nervous. Traveling, moving, starting something new all give me anxiety and actually give me migraines.

But I’m starting 2019 off with a bang by moving out of state, starting a new job, and basically a new life. I know I will have to make new friends, explore a new area, and balance everything I’m leaving behind in New Jersey.

I’ve decided to accept the adventure and carry that feeling with me throughout the year. It will all be a new learning experience, but I’m going to make it fun and I’m going to make the best of it. Despite the anxiety, I know this is a great step for me so I just need to embrace my adventurous side and see where things take me.

Let me know your word for 2019 below!

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