Taking A Step Back From Instagram

I started my blog a long time ago, mainly focusing on relationships and break ups and hoping I was helping other people through what I was going through. And since it’s transformed, it’s more general but I’m still trying to help people through what I’m going through.

I’ve always been a writer, I’ve always been better about hiding behind my words instead of standing in front of a camera. Being an influencer and a blogger goes hand in hand, so I started building my Instagram following and taking on sponsored campaigns. It was fun for a while, but now it’s just work.

I have a blogging epiphany like every 3 months and recently I was staring at my Instagram feed and was noticing what people liked about it and what they didn’t. I was mostly noticing that 90% of my following doesn’t even interact with my posts, but the 10% that do really care about what I’m doing. That’s when it hit me.

I don’t want people to follow me just because I’m following them and I don’t want to follow people just so they follow me. I’ve recently started unfollowing hundreds of accounts, from mommy bloggers, to people who don’t speak the same language as me, to style bloggers who dress a world’s outside my budget. And I’m actually starting to enjoy Instagram again and seeing people who actually inspire me.

Now my 10% who cares has my focus and they are who I really want to target and inspire. Even though my numbers will drop and that will mean less sponsored posts, I’m so much happier creating content on my terms. I’m hoping this will relieve the stress I feel from a stupid app.

beach carefree casual coast
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Yay 3k! Answers To Your Questions

Thank you all for your questions! Whenever I post an ask for questions, I get so nervous no one is going to respond haha! I am thrilled to welcome 3,000 followers to my WordPress blog and to give you all a chance to learn a little bit more about me. If any of these questions/answers spark more questions for you – feel free to ask me! And if you’re new here I’d love if you’d just drop a smiley face or hello in the comments.

1.What’s the best compliment you ever received?

It’s hard to narrow it down to one, but I think the best compliments are ones that are about things you didn’t know people noticed and are from people you didn’t even know noticed you. Throwing it back to 7th grade, I was in an English class where we all became really close friends and one boy wrote us all little notes at the end of the year and his note described me as a rebel without a cause and went on a little bit complimenting me. It’s always stuck with me, I might still have it in a box somewhere.

2. Where do you see your blog in 1, 3 and 5 year’s time?

In one year, I imagine I’ll still be in the same place I am now. In three years, I would hope I’ve grown a bit and finally reached 10k on Instagram so I can have the swipe up feature and promote my blog/brands more. In five years, I honestly don’t know if the influencer side of my blog will still be around (like working with brands or managing my instagram). It’s exhausting and I might just revert back to blogging without any pressure.

3. What is your next big goal in life in general?

Hmm this is tough because I like to set mini goals for myself and don’t often look too far into the future. I’ve never been the kind of person to say “I want to be making three figures by the time I’m 35!” or “I NEED to be married by 29!” My only main goals that I am continuously working at are traveling as much as I possibly can and finding true comfort and happiness with myself.

4. Do you frequently get contacted by companies for sponsored posts since your blog is so big?!

Nope. Lol I don’t consider my blog to be very big at all and it’s actually taken me almost 4 years to get where I am today which would be considered slow in the blogging world. I am contacted maybe once a month by companies, most of those are asking me to do things for free or in exchange for product so I don’t normally take them up on the offer. I am part of a lot of influencer networks (Social Native, Ambassadher, ApexDrop) where they partner me with brands and I either get paid or I only accept product that I really love/is worth my time in price and quality.

5. What’s one piece of advice you would go back and give yourself when you were first starting out as a blogger?

Do more research and ask more questions to other bloggers. There were so many blogging tools I missed out on my first couple years because I was just winging it. There are so many facebook groups to help out about blogging and articles about growing engagement and influencer networks. I wish I knew more sooner.

6. What’s underrated about New Jersey?

It has everything in one place. The ocean, the mountains, farms, and even cities are not too far away. The scenery of New Jersey is just breathtaking but most people never get much further than Hoboken or the Newark airport so they never get to see it. Asbury Park is a hub of art and music, the jersey shore is magnificent when all the shoobies leave, and the hiking brings you to massive waterfalls and great foliage. I love NJ!

7. Of your friends family etc who reads your blog? Would you ever go to a blogger bash?

My friends read my blog, my boyfriend’s family sometimes reads my blog, people I know from college still read it. My family doesn’t read it too much but I know they have read it in the past. I would love to go to a blogger meet up, but I don’t think I’d like to go to any blogger conventions just yet.

8. How do you find new and interesting content/subjects to write about? Also, do you plan your posts or write when you feel like?

I just write about what I know. I don’t think it’s always interesting, but it’s usually something I get off my chest. My inspiration usually comes from a part of a conversation I’m having and I just jot down the idea. I write when I’m inspired, I can’t force myself to write it just comes out awful. But I save the posts and schedule them because I like to post at least 2x a week and ideas are mostly always flowing for me.

9. How do you promote your posts? What works best for you?

I try to post twice a week and when I do I will “reschedule” my blog post so it posts on the WordPress reader more than once through the day. I also share on Facebook and Twitter but really need to work on getting readers through those platforms.

10. What’s one of your biggest pet peeves?

People who try too hard to fit in or be funny or just get noticed in the group. It makes me cringe and the more they try to be something they’re not, the more I stay away from them.

11. Favorite book?
The Outsiders

12. What’s one thing you admire about your boyfriend?

His patience. When we first started dating I was so grateful for how he allowed me to go at my own pace. Even now, he’s great with just giving me space and letting me talk when I’m ready – even if it takes a little bit of reminding for him to get the hint that I need some quiet.

13. How’s your doggo doing?

Sooooo good! She’s so well behaved and is just perfect – we are proud doggo parents.

14. Dream job?

This is terrible, but my dream job is to have no job at all lol.

15. What’s one thing you can’t live without?

Music. It’s pretty much the only thing that relieves my anxiety and helps me to feel like I fit in somewhere!

If I missed anyone’s questions, I am so sorry and please drop them below and I will answer! Thank you all for the support, I hope you enjoyed learning a little bit more about me!

Making Time For Your Friends In Your 20’s

When I graduated college, my friends and I all cried over the fact that life would be so different without us living just a hallway away from each other. But I don’t think I realized how different it would really be.

We all have jobs and relationships. Some people have houses and dogs. Some of us have demanding schedules. It’s really really hard to stay in touch with your friends and it can be easy to let it just fall to the side when you know they’ll always be there for you when you need them.

But needing them doesn’t always mean you’re having an actual crisis. You need your friends a lot more than you think you do, even when you have a support system at home. It’s not the same as the comfort your friends can give you.

They’re probably going through what you’re going through and you probably haven’t taken the time to properly talk about your life with someone who isn’t with you all the tine. Your friends can help you, it doesn’t need to be a time of despair. It might just be a time where you feel like you need a little more fresh air.

It takes work – a lot more work than some people are willing to put in to keep friendships around. But it’s important work. It’s the same as the effort you need to continuously put into your relationship. You can’t just expect to put people down and pick them back up when you need them.

Send the text, make the call, put together some plans. Be the person who is always reaching out with dates to see if anyone can get together. It’s exhausting and can be frustrating – but your good friends are worth it.

backlit dawn foggy friendship
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I Don’t Read Reviews

My favorite band released their fifth album over a week ago and I was extremely excited because they put a lot of time in between each album so the anticipation was real. They have been on the verge of breaking up for years now, so every time they release something or go on tour I am the most excited human in the world.

I saw a lot of people post statuses about the album, I saw famous musicians tweet about it, but I never really read deeply into them because it just doesn’t matter to me. I don’t really care what you think about the album, because I love it. And I don’t need someone dumping negativity all over something I love.

I don’t really trust music or movie reviews because it just comes down to the simple fact that we all have certain emotions that are attached to these things and it gets touchy when other people insert their opinions. It’s almost like politics. I feel very strongly about my favorite band, just as I feel very strongly about certain political stances to the point where no matter how much we argue, you won’t be changing my mind.

We all watched the new Taylor Swift music video and song, some people passionately loved it and some people passionately hated it. But I’m not going to dump all over something you feel strongly about – I don’t really write reviews or read them for this reason.

And I feel like this could be adapted into most things in my life. To form my own opinion before listening to others.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/takasuii/

How Stress Affects Me

We all get stressed in different ways about different things. This can come as a challenge when you are constantly interacting with different people. We have friends, family, relationships, and coworkers who all get stressed about different things and in different ways. Yet, we still have to figure out how to deal with it.

When I get stressed, I kind of shut down. In light stress situations, I used to be able to make lists and do things that cheered my up before everything got too heavy. But when time isn’t on your side, it’s relatively easy to let things get too heavy.

I’ve never been one to communicate well  verbally, even in happy situations. But when I’m stressed, I can barely communicate at all because my brain is chatting to itself constantly. I just don’t take the time to talk to anyone and a lot of my friendships and relationships get impacted by this. I don’t know how to push aside the overthinking to make room for other conversations, whether they are about what I’m stressed about or not.

The challenge to understand how others stress is difficult. Of course we all have our own problems and of course we all want to help our loved ones when they have problems. But how do we juggle it all? It seems possible to some people, but extremely impossible for me.

Leave me a comment about how stress affects you or how you deal with it!

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/sodaniechea/