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All I ever see these days is how people hate the “talking” phase of a relationship. I hear baby boomers diss us for not knowing how to date and millennials despising their almost-relationships.
Meanwhile, I’ve skipped the “talking” phase all together and have gone straight to dating. Because going on dates isn’t a commitment. There is still no pressure, it is still an almost relationship, but there are no real rules.
Because believe it or not, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. And if you don’t want to spend two months subtly snapchatting your crush, passively liking their instagrams, and only texting when you’re drunk – then don’t. If you want more, ask for more. Balls up and go out to dinner or get coffee or see a movie. Guy or girl, make the first move.
Anyone who reacts poorly to your first move or your detour from the “talking” phase is not the person for you. Trust me, you want someone who wants what you want. And if they want to putt around and put things on hold and not assign any sort of label to anything – even though casually dating is not a label – then they need to be kicked out of your life anyway.
And getting ghosted is awful, but so is getting rejected. If the person can’t be straight up with you, then they aren’t for you. If they rejected you, then they’re still not for you. It’s not a great feeling but it opens you up to move on.
Dating as a millennial doesn’t have to suck. There are plenty of people in relationships who skipped that “talking” phase you hate so much. Just stop calling it that and go on a first date and assess if you even like each other in real life! I’m sure “talking” works great for some people, but if you’re not one of those people then ditch it.
You don’t have to follow any rules, you can message first on Bumble and it won’t be weird. You can text her on a Monday morning even though you texted her last. Double text them if you have to. It will be okay. If you hate a certain part of dating, then change your rules and make it work for you.
I care a lot, I pretend not to care a lot. There are many things that I pay no mind to – but there are just some things that I care too much about. That don’t deserve as much attention as they get. It’s the ugly truth, these are the things I care too much about:
I can’t believe summer is over and fall is alive and well!
I would like to be able to reach more of you through Instagram so I can not only enjoy your words, but also your beautiful pictures!
I will, of course, follow back. Or if you want you can just drop your insta name in the comments and I’ll give you a follow!
If you have followed me and noticed I didn’t follow back or unfollowed you – please tell me! Sometimes I just don’t see it or I accidentally unfollow when I’m trying to weed through inactive instagrams or people who spam.
Have a great week
I’m 23 years old and basically grew up with social media and have been obsessed with it since I discovered it.
It initially started with AIM Messenger where you could chat with your friends online at any time. As a pretty awkward and introverted person, this allowed me to make friends at a young age.
Xanga was like the beginning of WordPress, I tried to blog a bunch of times when I was younger (around 12 years old), but it just wasn’t a thing back then.
Then Myspace rolled around and I started to capitalize on that, making friends on the internet to add on to the dwindling amount of friends I had in real life. I learned html to make my layouts and profile, I blogged, I added strangers and became friends with them. It sounds a little creepy, but it’s almost the same as following people you don’t know on Instagram or replying to comments on WordPress. I’m still friends with someone I’ve never technically met, but met through Myspace.
I dove into Twitter and Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. WordPress became a big part of my life. I realized I wanted to make a career out of social media because I was good at it. And I think a lot of people think that just because you use Facebook means that you are good at social media, but it’s not necessarily true.
I began building myself and my brand through social media. It took time and is still taking time. I think one of the biggest things people see when looking at someone who is obsessed with social media is that they are faking their lives through an internet platform.
But I’m obsessed with social media because my life is so great in real life and on the internet. I can project all of the fun things I do and goals I accomplish in real life onto my social media platforms.
I’m obsessed with social media because it connects me with like minded people. Because they read my blog and they’re having problems dating, too. Because they saw my Instagram of my trip to Nashville and they’ve been there, too.
I’m obsessed with social media because I’m obsessed with my world and social media opens up the door to a whole other world to enjoy. I’m not faking anything (except a little bit more confidence in my internet life). I love social media because I love my life.
Blogging has taught me about community.
I grew up with Myspace, Xanga, and Facebook. I grew up with virtual friends – but none of them ever became as important to me as the WordPress community is. There are people who have amazing advice here and there are people who benefit from my advice. It is a constant give and take, full of appreciation.
Blogging has taught me about passion projects.
There will always be work and school, but you need something outside your day to day responsibilities to keep you motivated. Writing makes me happy, this community helps me grow, and other people’s blogs teach me more than the things I learn in school or in the workplace.
Blogging has taught me that most things in life take hard work and time.
I didn’t see any successes in Hookup Culture until about a year ago even though I’m a couple years in. I learned how to be better and when I slack, I see my hard work drop in stats. This is important to me now so putting in the work and finding the time is important to me.
Blogging has taught me to celebrate small successes.
Every single person you reach is as great as every ten people you reach.
Blogging has taught me I can make an impact.
Even if it’s small, even if I’m not changing the world. I get emails and comments where people sympathize with my situations or needed to hear what I had to say. I want to help, even if it’s just one person at a time.
Blogging has taught me to embrace myself.
Support yourself, be proud of yourself, be your own number one fan. Everything else will fall into place once you start believing in everything you can do.