self esteem – Rosie Culture

An Appearance Slump

I don’t know if I should chalk it up to weather or laziness, but I’ve been in a slump with my appearance.

I rarely do my hair, just throw it up in a pony or let it be its frizzy, wavy self. I put eyeliner on maybe once a week, my make up is always bare minimum. Unless I’m going out on the weekend, my appearance is always a little half assed.

Even when we go out to dinner after work or out to take a walk, I opt for sweatpants and minimal make up. Which is fine sometimes, but eventually your self esteem takes a hit because you’re not really taking care of yourself.

I can’t really blame myself for falling into this slump. I see the same people almost every day of the week. I have the same routine. What’s the point in jazzing it up and spending time getting ready when I could be sleeping?

The weather warmed up this week and I really realized the neglect I’ve been imposing on myself and the impact your appearance and inner confidence has on other people. The weather put me in a better mood so I threw on a dress and had a great day. Then I put on a skirt the next day with some lipstick and I got so many “good mornings” and another great day!

I took selfies this weekend, felt good about myself, and felt motivated enough to want to start my healthier habits of eating better and working out more. That has been a goal for me for so long, but I just couldn’t get out of the slump.

Just a little extra effort has gone a long way for me. Have you ever had an appearance slump?

PostGrad

Stop Being Mad At Yourself

I haven’t been able to get myself to the gym more than once a week lately and I always feel guilty about it. But there are times when you want to go to the gym and you’re too lazy and then there are times you just don’t want to go. And I just don’t feel up to going.

And some days I eat a lot more than I should or eat things that really aren’t good for me. And I feel bad about myself even though I was just listening to what my body wants.

I just want to stop being mad at myself about these things.

Being mad at yourself isn’t going to change anything, it’s just going to motivate you less. It will just lower your self-esteem until you can’t even get out of bed or until you’re loading your plate with junk food.

Didn’t meditate today? It’s okay. Didn’t go to the gym today, yesterday, or the day before that? It’s okay. Ate a whole pizza today? It’s okay. Slept in and had an unproductive day? It’s okay.

We can’t be mad at ourselves for listening to what our bodies want. If you can’t get yourself to the gym or you keep napping after work – it’s probably because you need it. But if you’re ignoring your body and going to the gym anyway or ignoring your body’s pleas to get active – that’s not okay.

But just stop being mad at yourself for these tiny things that just aren’t going to make a big impact on your life. There’s no reason to be so hard on yourself.

Capture — Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/sthtodo/

PostGrad

A Selfie A Day

Last week I wrote a post called Take More Selfies.

Self love is hard. It’s way easier to get gratification from others, and even then that’s not always easy. Sometimes I’ll find myself with the front camera open, looking for my best angle and then close the app saying “I’m too ugly for a selfie.”

And it’s just not true, it’s just not true about anyone. Everyone should feel beautiful enough to take a photo of themselves smiling and feeling good.

So, in an effort to change the way I think about myself, I will be taking one selfie a day for the next 30 days and uploading them to my Instagram story. You can visit my instagram at @rosieculture.

While I’m sure a lot of people will be like “okay cool it with the selfies”, I will be challenging myself to like my appearance and self for 30 days and to find some beauty in the world. What others think doesn’t really matter.

Take the challenge! Whether you want to do it on your own, through Instagram, Facebook, or wherever. I challenge you to love yourself – and feel free to tag me in your pics! 🙂 Photo 1 is below and can be found on my insta story today.

PostGrad

Take More Selfies

It’s hard to be self-confident. I think it comes in waves, you feel really good about yourself then you all of a sudden feel really bad about yourself.

It’s harder after you graduate college, because you get way less attention than you ever did when you were young, flirty, and out every night surrounded by people. You’re just alone more in your mid-twenties and that results in less attention.

And if you’re not going to give yourself the love you need, then no one will. Sure, your coworker will compliment your dress and your mom will tell you that you look pretty today. If you go out with your friends every once in a while, they’ll tell you how great you look and you might get hit on at the bar.

But it’s not a guarantee that you’re going to get the gratification you need, that we all need.

So, take more selfies and learn how to make yourself feel good. Whether you’re slapping on a snapchat filter or taking it from your best angle – do what you have to do to give yourself the attention you need.

We all need a little confidence boost now and again, I’ve never seen taking lots of selfies as a negative thing. If you’re feeling yourself, then snap that pic and hype yourself up. You deserve it.

PostGrad

Judge Less, Compliment More

Seriously if everyone was as nice as the girls I run into drunkenly in the bar bathroom, my self esteem would be through the roof.

But it’s not. It’s not for most of us. We are constantly trying to live up to what we see on the magazine covers or on the popular Instagram pages. We try to make ourselves as perfect as possible – because that’s what gets us attention and that’s what gets us compliments. And those are what give us the confidence to keep going.

But a lot of the time what we’re asking for is superficial confidence. Likes and comments on pictures from people who really don’t mean anything. The strangers online are nice, but compliments in person would be even better.

We tend to judge instead of compliment. We give the side eye and scoff about how short that girl’s dress is or how ugly that guy’s shoes are. But we never think to reach out and compliment someone as quickly as we think to judge them. Because that girl has the legs to rock that dress and the guy has the confidence and style to rock those shoes – but you would never tell them that.

We think compliments all the time, but we keep them in our head. I don’t know how many times I’ve spoken to a stranger and thought “wow, her hair is really pretty.” But never said it out loud. Things like that can make people’s day or week or life just a little bit better.

We don’t think to do it anymore, we don’t want to build egos or look weak admitting that we like something about someone else. But I urge you to try to do it. To say the nice things you’re thinking out loud. We could all use a compliment every now and again. Start handing out yours and you’ll surely get them in return.

https://m.flickr.com/#/photos/archetypefotografie/

Relationships

Making The First Move

Guys deserve a lot of credit for making the first move. It’s just what is expected in society, that guys will approach a girl first. They’ll ask for their number and have to make the phone call. They ask her to dance or out on a date. It’s mostly all up to the guy to move something forward.

That takes a lot of guts. You are pushing all of your insecurities behind a mask to make a good impression on someone. And if they don’t like you? Was it your hair, did you smell, did you say the wrong thing? You’re putting your whole self esteem on the line. Girls can be too fragile to do something like that (unless we’re drunk) because we are constantly being shamed by society. I can’t even imagine all the thoughts and emotions that would flood a girl’s head after being rejected when making the first move. I’m sure guys experience a whole lot of emotions and thoughts too, so like I said, I give them credit.

I don’t know if that’s something we should take entirely personally. Sure, someone is making a snap judgement on you but there are so many variables that could be put into place. The person you’re hitting on could be in a relationship, they could be in a tough place in their life, they could forget you met, they could just not feel the vibes, or you’re not their type. There are so many reasons not to take rejection personally. Therefore, I think we should all put our hearts on the line a little more often.

As a girl, I have on many occasions bought someone a drink or told them they were cute to get them to come talk to me. Many of these times were promoted by liquid courage, but it’s something I would like to be able to accomplish sober. Why should it bother me that someone didn’t like me? I don’t like everyone I meet either. They say if you never try then you’ll never succeed – so give it a shot and make the first move.

photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/thomashawk/