Your Ex On Social Media

It’s almost the first thing I do after a break up. I unfollow my ex on Twitter and Instagram, I unfriend them on Facebook and Snapchat, get rid of their pictures and their online existence.

They call me out on it. They say I’m acting childish, immature, bitter, and petty. But really it’s the only way I know how not to be childish, immature, bitter, or petty.

When I get into arguments, I walk away. For the most part, I put my phone down and stop speaking. I don’t want to say something I’ll regret. When I delete my ex from social media, it’s my way of walking away.

It’s extremely hard to get over someone you dated and dedicated a good chunk of your life to. It’s hard enough to run into them in person, but having to see their face on every app you open is one hundred times worse.

What’s the point? If we do ever become friends again, then maybe we can revisit being friends on social media again too. But right now, we’re not friends. I don’t want to know what you’re doing, I don’t want to know how you’re feeling, I don’t want you to exist in my world.

We’ll just try to make the other jealous by tweeting about how great our nights were. We’ll just try to one up each other by taking pictures with attractive people on Instagram. We’ll just become childish, immature, bitter, and petty.

I understand that it’s silly to put that much weight into social media. To let Instagram posts and Facebook statuses impact you. But that’s what a break up is, it hurts and it impacts you and it weighs on your life. Your break up and that pain just gets magnified when you stay in each other’s social media circles.

If you feel you don’t need to delete them, then fine it’s your choice. But I can tell you when that ex pops up on your Timehop from four years ago, it’s still going to hurt a little. And when they pop up on your Snapchat stories tomorrow, it’s going to hurt a lot more. So let them go, walk away, and delete your ex on social media.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/hmoong/

32 thoughts on “Your Ex On Social Media

  1. This is something I can completely relate to. After my ex broke up with me, he wanted to stay friends (I was dumb enough to think it was possible) and we remained friends on Twitter, Facebook, and Snapchat. And it was fine for the most part… except a few weeks ago when I found out he has had a girlfriend for the last four months because he retweeted a girl whose Twitter profile picture he was in. I unfriended/unfollowed him on everything, and I know it’s something I should have done earlier. Better late than never, right?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You do have a point. I wish I was childish enough to delete my ex from all social sites. My maturity has stuck me to him as it is always break up and make up. It’s sounds childish, but its the only way to actually, move on.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Reblogged this on The Sick and the Dating and commented:
    As others have indicated, I delete and block. I might unblock briefly just to check someone’s general location so I can be certain they aren’t lurking nearby, but I mostly have to pretend the guy died so I can move on.
    + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m friends with two of my ex-boyfriends. I really like both of them as people, and I think they feel the same about me. So, yeah, we’re friends on social media. But if you can’t be friends in real life, there’s no reason to be cyber-friends with them.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Everyone’s different, so everyone deals with issues in various ways. Too many times as a society, people want people to fall within cookie-cutter pre-staged patterns that not only don’t make sense, but don’t seem healthy.

    If what you mention helps you – it would definitely help me, and has happened as you said a few times at least – then more power to you.

    Being able to stay friends with an ex-lover, or even an ex-friend [although this is much easier at times], can be great if the relationship was really that strong. But usually something takes place that’s so extreme that it makes one person want to not have contact, if not both.

    Anyways, incisive words. Am sure many can relate.

    Also, something just hit me. Our generation has grown up in the age of social media. This is something that most forget that is something new. We all take it for granted because we’ve grown up with it to some extent. ‘Back in the day’ people didn’t have to deal with that.

    That’s being mentioned because social media [if you’re still ‘friends’ on there] makes it seem like you guys still have quite the contact depending on how many updates they do, or how often they say hello. Decades ago, people would have to [gasp!] PLACE AN ACTUAL PHONE CALL heaven forbid, or even more personal, come over.

    You rarely see that now. Its a pity, because those are the ways that relationships get the strongest [all kinds of relationships], and yet, are the least things that take place. And when they do, it seems rather superficial. Who knows though, perhaps that’s just me?

    Keep on keeping on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally agree, some people may feel that the social media contact doesn’t bother them. But when a break up first happens, it definitely bothers me. it does get superficial because back in the day if you truly missed someone you would have to put in a lot of effort to see them. Now, because of social media, there is always some sense of nostalgia and you may feel yourself missing someone just because of their social media activity. It creates fake feelings and jealousy. As much as I love social media, it’s very toxic if you don’t have a strong sense of self.

      Liked by 1 person

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