It’s almost the first thing I do after a break up. I unfollow my ex on Twitter and Instagram, I unfriend them on Facebook and Snapchat, get rid of their pictures and their online existence.
They call me out on it. They say I’m acting childish, immature, bitter, and petty. But really it’s the only way I know how not to be childish, immature, bitter, or petty.
When I get into arguments, I walk away. For the most part, I put my phone down and stop speaking. I don’t want to say something I’ll regret. When I delete my ex from social media, it’s my way of walking away.
It’s extremely hard to get over someone you dated and dedicated a good chunk of your life to. It’s hard enough to run into them in person, but having to see their face on every app you open is one hundred times worse.
What’s the point? If we do ever become friends again, then maybe we can revisit being friends on social media again too. But right now, we’re not friends. I don’t want to know what you’re doing, I don’t want to know how you’re feeling, I don’t want you to exist in my world.
We’ll just try to make the other jealous by tweeting about how great our nights were. We’ll just try to one up each other by taking pictures with attractive people on Instagram. We’ll just become childish, immature, bitter, and petty.
I understand that it’s silly to put that much weight into social media. To let Instagram posts and Facebook statuses impact you. But that’s what a break up is, it hurts and it impacts you and it weighs on your life. Your break up and that pain just gets magnified when you stay in each other’s social media circles.
If you feel you don’t need to delete them, then fine it’s your choice. But I can tell you when that ex pops up on your Timehop from four years ago, it’s still going to hurt a little. And when they pop up on your Snapchat stories tomorrow, it’s going to hurt a lot more. So let them go, walk away, and delete your ex on social media.
I delete and block…only so I don’t have to see any remants (not that I have had a lot of experience with this in social media savvy times now)
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Me too and they still always seem to sneak on my timeline somehow.
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And then they start uploading the naked selfies they took!
Has never happened unfortunately.
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lol that has never happened to me either
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This is something I can completely relate to. After my ex broke up with me, he wanted to stay friends (I was dumb enough to think it was possible) and we remained friends on Twitter, Facebook, and Snapchat. And it was fine for the most part… except a few weeks ago when I found out he has had a girlfriend for the last four months because he retweeted a girl whose Twitter profile picture he was in. I unfriended/unfollowed him on everything, and I know it’s something I should have done earlier. Better late than never, right?
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Ugh that’s the worst, I found out my ex had a girlfriend almost right after we broke up through social media. Definitely a good thing you did it now, I think it makes the moving on process easier!
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I don’t think it’s childish at all. How you move on when you’re seeing their business all the time. Unfollow away I say!
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Thank you! Honestly, if we’re broken up and they think I’m being childish, it doesn’t really matter anymore anyway lol
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So true
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Yeah, it’s hard, but I think losing them on the social media is just a necessity. And who cares if they don’t like it. They aren’t with you anymore.
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Yes totally agree, if they think I’m acting childish then it’s a good thing we’re not dating anymore
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You do have a point. I wish I was childish enough to delete my ex from all social sites. My maturity has stuck me to him as it is always break up and make up. It’s sounds childish, but its the only way to actually, move on.
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Oh yea my relationships would have all been make up and break up if I hadn’t deleted them. Just being reminded of them all the time is too hard
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Sadly but we have to move on.
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I think that’s sensible. I have a relative whose husband left and I immediately befriended him. Figure he no longer needs to have access to our family, right?
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I would have done the same thing!
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Actually, I would do the same. Anyone who dictates how you should handle your online stuff is manipulative.
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Ugh yea unfortunately because of social media I’ve found a lot of relationships are manipulative now anyway because it’s easier to become jealous
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Good point!
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Well said!
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Thanks 🙂
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Reblogged this on The Sick and the Dating and commented:
As others have indicated, I delete and block. I might unblock briefly just to check someone’s general location so I can be certain they aren’t lurking nearby, but I mostly have to pretend the guy died so I can move on.
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Thanks for the reblog 🙂
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Great post – I defiantly take my exs of all social media pages, it’s the only way to go for me xx
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Thanks! I would never be able to move on if I didn’t
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I’m friends with two of my ex-boyfriends. I really like both of them as people, and I think they feel the same about me. So, yeah, we’re friends on social media. But if you can’t be friends in real life, there’s no reason to be cyber-friends with them.
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I’m friends with one of my exes and we stay friends on social media. Any others not so much lol but seriously why be friends with someone you’re not actually friends with?
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Well, exactly. If you can’t stand them in real life, there’s no need to add to the discomfort. 🙂
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I agree. It’s less messy that way.
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Everyone’s different, so everyone deals with issues in various ways. Too many times as a society, people want people to fall within cookie-cutter pre-staged patterns that not only don’t make sense, but don’t seem healthy.
If what you mention helps you – it would definitely help me, and has happened as you said a few times at least – then more power to you.
Being able to stay friends with an ex-lover, or even an ex-friend [although this is much easier at times], can be great if the relationship was really that strong. But usually something takes place that’s so extreme that it makes one person want to not have contact, if not both.
Anyways, incisive words. Am sure many can relate.
Also, something just hit me. Our generation has grown up in the age of social media. This is something that most forget that is something new. We all take it for granted because we’ve grown up with it to some extent. ‘Back in the day’ people didn’t have to deal with that.
That’s being mentioned because social media [if you’re still ‘friends’ on there] makes it seem like you guys still have quite the contact depending on how many updates they do, or how often they say hello. Decades ago, people would have to [gasp!] PLACE AN ACTUAL PHONE CALL heaven forbid, or even more personal, come over.
You rarely see that now. Its a pity, because those are the ways that relationships get the strongest [all kinds of relationships], and yet, are the least things that take place. And when they do, it seems rather superficial. Who knows though, perhaps that’s just me?
Keep on keeping on.
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I totally agree, some people may feel that the social media contact doesn’t bother them. But when a break up first happens, it definitely bothers me. it does get superficial because back in the day if you truly missed someone you would have to put in a lot of effort to see them. Now, because of social media, there is always some sense of nostalgia and you may feel yourself missing someone just because of their social media activity. It creates fake feelings and jealousy. As much as I love social media, it’s very toxic if you don’t have a strong sense of self.
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Reblogged this on George2.
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