I wasn’t scared of dating because it’s difficult. I’ve been through plenty of awkward situations in my life, I’ve definitely learned to laugh it off.
I was scared to date because I’m difficult. I immediately wave off every person I meet as uninteresting because I know that they won’t put in the effort that it will take to get me out of my shell.
It’s why we text our exes when we’re sad. It’s why we think of the people who’ve gotten us out of our shell before instead of venturing to meet new people.
You have to put in time with broken hearted people. It’s not because we’re high maintenance or girls that don’t want to be tied down. It’s because we’re literally terrified of ending up at rock bottom again because of a boy.
And I personally just don’t see someone I randomly met off of Bumble looking at me and thinking “yea, I’m gonna make this girl believe again.”
We don’t need you to put our pieces back together, we don’t need you to support us – we’ve learned to do it all on our own. We need you to grant us independence, we want you to lend a helping hand. We want you to make us believe again.
We’re not running away because we’re scared of commitment. We’re running away because we don’t think we’re worth the effort. Because it’ll take a lot of muscle to get us to stay in one place. It’ll take a lot of time to get us to believe in the kind of love you want to give us.
We want to meet someone who can tie us down. But we can’t expect anyone to put that kind of effort into someone so flakey. We just can’t put that much pressure on one person. We just see it as not fair of us to push off the baggage that other people left on our shoulders onto someone else.
Nahh … Time is everything .. one can’t keep on running away from reality .. in date in love or in marriage is all is to take seriously at the right time ..
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I agree
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Mm
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Hi it’s Alex! I’m sorry I haven’t read your posts in a while, I’ve been on a break, but I’ve really missed them! There was such strength behind your words in this post and you always seem to be writing from your heart and based on your feelings but seem to inspire so many other people at the same time.
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Ah thank you so much 🙂 I hope you’ll return to blogging soon!
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Nah nah .. we can’t keep on running away .. time is everything .. if it is the right time ,do it and don’t wait for the right guy to fall in love because there is no perfect guy …
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The moment we’ve lived a few days, we end up with a broken heart. It’s the nature of living. Love is about being with someone even if they can’t heal you completely. Because healing doesn’t come from people.
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That is a great thought, we all are broken hearted and one point and healing really doesn’t come from people. But when you do heal, you still need someone to show you the ropes again.
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Exactly.
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You said it !
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We heal ourselves. Are broken hearted people worth the time? Well, only if they are not truly broken. Damage happens, scars happen, but wounds need to close before people should look for someone to accept their scars. Scars are fine, but consistent open bleeding wounds are a good indicator one is not yet ready to be dating again.
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Totally agree. The ones who are still scarred, but ready to move on, are the ones that need time dedicated to them
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Yup.
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Love is to be done without expectations (I know this may sound farcical, but trust me it works). Every person knows what kind of efforts are put in to keep the relation going. If one can’t give back atleast appreciate the efforts. At the same time it should always be giving and forgiving no matter the person loved you back or not. At one point the person will reliase who stuck to me and who left..
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I agree!
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Forgiveness is so important to go forward, and that includes forgiving oneself.
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So true. I think at certain points of your life, you don’t want to date, until you don’t feel so bitter and heartbroken. And you just need a little single time.
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Definitely! I think that phase will just continue without a nudge and some help from someone willing to put in the time
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Yep. Though when it happens isn’t always the most convenient times. Most of the time way earlier than you are ready.
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Love this post so much. Thank you!
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Thank you for reading 🙂
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Yes they are worth the time 🙂
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I think so too 🙂 but many people don’t have the time to give
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I understand what you mean, a waiting and hoping over time for ‘true love’ is an investment of time? But me personally if she explained, there was connection and I liked her then I’d lol take the chance 🙂 (If all that makes sense lol) but I am a romantic.
BTW can I say you’re a ‘cutie’, attractive and a writer wise beyond her years (young years!).
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Hahah thank you 🙂 there aren’t many people who are romantics and would take the chance like you!
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It’s anot unsteady line to walk, but I think that someone who cares about someone with a br9ken heart is going to be willing to allow that person the space and time they need to heal.
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I agree 🙂 that would definitely be the best case scenario though, not everyone has the patience for that
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I thought that I needed to be alone and take care of my baggage first before subjecting someone else to the mess of my broken heart. I met my current boyfriend in the middle of sorting through my stuff and I kept pushing him away because of it. But he kept coming back and wanted to be with me even with my aches and triggers. After I stopped fighting his presence in my life, I noticed that the healing I was doing slowly on my own, went much quicker. I’m not completely healed, but he’s helped the process tremendously. All that to say that when someone is right and thinks you’re worth it, they will want to be with you, baggage and all.
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This is so amazing to hear. I also thought I needed to be alone to heal, but it’s been a while and at this point I think I should let someone help me instead of keep pushing them away. Thanks for sharing 🙂
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Good post. I have tears in my eyes right now. I want someone to put in some effort; I need to know something thinks I’m worth the effort.
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Thank you 🙂 You’re definitely worth the effort, it’s just not easy waiting for someone who is willing to do so.
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Some days I just don’t know.
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I have those days too and they happen often
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*hugs*
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Just as it feels inside!exactly!
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My theory is that when you truly care for someone, you’ll want to be a better person for them, and you will eventually heal 🙂
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Yea I definitely agree! It’s hard to look at caring for someone as something positive and not as something scary when you’re still healing unfortunately
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It’s because we’re literally terrified of ending up at rock bottom again because of a boy.
Shiiit. That line hit the nail square on the head. So. So. So. True.
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Stupid boys 🤦🏼♀️
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Your worth being loved!
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