First Impressions Aren’t Important

You’re going on a job interview, a first date, or meeting the parents. And you’re supposed to make a good first impression. Because first impressions are important – that’s what they say.
But I don’t think first impressions are important at all, because I mostly see them as a nice little white lie. All a first impression is showing me is how you sugar coat yourself, the things you hide and the things you show in order to make me like you.

You wrap yourself up with pretty paper and tidy bow to fool someone into think you’re someone you’re not. That you’re organized, or charitable and nice, or responsible and worthy. Your first impression is just you trying to be someone else.

And what is that worth if you can’t live up to it? If you get the job and aren’t “used to working in fast paced environments”like you said. Or you are three months into a relationship and you end up showing the more prominent part of your personality, which is snobby and a little mean, not nice and helpful like you said. Or you go to your in laws for Christmas dinner and they found out this is the second job you’ve been fired from and you just can’t keep a job, you’re not as responsible and put together as you said you were.

What’s a first impression without the ability to make that impression again and again and again? I’d rather strip it down, know that you don’t do this well and you don’t like these kind of people and you often act this way. Because why waste your time and someone else’s time being someone you’re not? Why waste my time convincing me of your best self, only to end up revealing your true self much later on?

If we all did that, we might not make friends so easily. But at least we’d have a much clearer idea of who we were dedicating our time to. Your first impression isn’t important to me, it’s what’s deep beneath your layers that matters most.

 

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/crysb/

34 thoughts on “First Impressions Aren’t Important

  1. Well of course you are right here but then again none of us can help judging people, situations,… by the impression we get…and the first is…well, the first 😀
    Of course the image you get will always change but I don’t think that trying to make a good first impression (and the things we don’t do consciously are the most important ones here) is not the same as pretending to be someone you’re not…

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I think most people’s version of trying to make a good first impression is really them hiding themselves. I just wish we all really thought about how we present ourselves and if we are really being true to ourselves. There are a few people who make a good first impression while being their self, but I don’t think that’s a majority. Which is understandable because of all the judgment which comes with it, but I’m glad when people get a realistic impression of me early on and decide if they like me or not based off of that

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I think for me the first impressions that have mattered have been the ones that surprised me. It wasn’t the standard first dates or initial handshakes with acquaintances, but rather the NON-standard ways in which I’ve met my friends or the ease of moving into real conversation on dates with guys I actually ended up being in relationships with. I know most people shy away from weirdness or too loud voices upon first interaction; I just happen to gravitate towards it instead.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I absolutely gravitate to weirdness as well, so when people put up their “normal” front for a first impression I always find it really off putting. The non standard ways of meeting are always the best, something candid and nonchalant like a party or gathering of friends, but when it’s a first time meeting, handshake kind of thing I think we all tend to hide our true selves.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I’ve always thought this too. I think so many people think they can slide by on a slick first appearance, but honestly, most of the time, I’ve given off a terrible first impression with the people I’ve become the best friends with. And I’ve had really low opinions of others that ended up being some of my closest friends. Good call on this one. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you 🙂 I don’t think I give off the best first impression but I’m not a very social and peppy person so there’s no use in pretending I am haha maybe it’s the second impression that really matters most!

      Like

      1. I totally agree with you. I am totally not a social or upbeat person, and with my resting bitter face, most people just think I’m a grump (which I am most of the time), but really I am a pretty good friend if you make it to the second or third impression.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I loved reading this! Actually, I was just talking about this topic with my friend the other day. On campus, as college students sometimes we don’t place a lot of emphasis on how we dress.. I am guilty of wearing nikes shorts and a t shirt sometimes or just throwing over an oversized sweater & that is my attire for the day. They say that you could meet a future employer or important figure on campus and first impressions should be considered, but in this case I would definitely agree with you. It is not everything. Thanks for a great, interesting, thought-provoking post!

    xo, Lynna
    Howlynnaful

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you 🙂 I’ve heard the phrase “Dress as if you’re going to run into your ex” but it’s just unrealistic and people expect way too much from a first impression, it definitely isn’t everything.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I took advice from a friend a long time back: be a neutral person. Never make a good first impression. Make sure it isn’t bad and don’t lie, just be as neutral as possible. Little glimpses of who you really are will show that you are still deep and interesting, but nobody can form a solid opinion on you before they get to know you that way.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Hello, I’ve just discovered your blog, and really enjoyed this piece. I look forward to reading more of your fantastic thoughts. I’m just a small blog and I don’t have many followers. Would you mind checking it out sometime if you get the chance?it would mean the world to me

    Liked by 1 person

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