When I was single, I decided that I was tired of being screwed over by putting other people first and getting nothing back. I decided that I needed to find my happiness alone and it wasn’t fair when people tried to get in the way and hinder that happiness. I decided to be selfish.
And it worked out so well for me. I became a healthier and happier person and didn’t let anyone get in my way. It was a couple of the best years of my life.
But now that I’m in a relationship, it doesn’t seem okay to be selfish anymore. Because when you care about someone, you want to do what you can for them and sometimes that means sacrificing things for yourself. But is that okay?
Or can we still be a little selfish. In the end, should we always put ourselves first? I feel like we should because when it comes down to it all, all we really have that is 100% guaranteed is ourselves. But then we feel bad for being this way. And how can you even be selfish when all you feel is guilty?
When you’re in a relationship, is it still okay to be as selfish as you were when you were single or should you really sacrifice some of your happiness for someone else’s?
Rosie Culture 
I do think that you can’t be quite a selfish as you were when you were single. It’s easy to be selfish when you’re single. You can literally do whatever you want, whenever you want. When you’re in a relationship, you do have to sometimes consider the other person’s feelings. There will be some sacrifices you have to make in order to make time for this new person in your life. However, you have to be careful about the sacrifices that you’re making. They should never come at the expense of your happiness. And you need to make sure that you don’t put the other person first so much that you lose yourself.
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I think that’s what I struggle the most with, how to know when you’re sacrificing too much.
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I thin you’ll notice it. If you start to feel unhappy or ever realize that you stopped doing the things you love entirely, then you may be sacrificing too much.
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I think when it a relationship it is okay to be selfish about certain things. Of course you care about your significant other and want to be respectful to them. However, you also want to take care of yourself. I’m not sure what your daily life looks life but most people stress and most people take that stress home with them. It’s okay to be selfish and want to just be alone for a hour to process. Or go shopping because that is what you consider to be self care.
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I definitely take my stress home with me, thank you for the advice! 🙂
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I think the term selfish somehow implies a negative, most (if not all?) relationships are about compromise and I think within that you can negotiate some terms that benefit you personally.
Sometimes it can be tough to hold on to your individual identity, so its cool to seek individual time or interests and if some call that a little “selfish” so be it.
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You are so right, I think it’s a give and take.
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The reality is like a football field. And you have only two options. You are the player or the ball. You kick or get kicked. So start kicking. be selfish cause at the end you are all you got.
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One of the biggest lessons I learned from my last failed relationship is that I need to be more selfish when it comes to my relationships. I found myself the hypothetical doormat in my last relationship, and when I wanted change and was met with hostility, I left. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done, but I needed to make the change and he wasn’t willing to change with me.
With that being said, I feel it is important to know what you want out of life and if it takes a bit of selfishness, then so be it. If your partner is really the one for you, he/she will understand and most likely, encourage you to do so.
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You are so right. I especially like what you said about needing your partner to change with you. I’m going through something like this right now and my boyfriend is very accepting of it, so I really appreciate your input here! 🙂
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