You Don’t Miss Your Ex

It happens to everyone. You get to this really great place in your life, you’re happy, you’re thriving, and then BOOM you all of a sudden miss your ex.

And I don’t mean just a twinge of sadness – you cannot stop thinking about them. When you’re stuck in traffic, you think about how you miss the adventures you used to go on. When you’re bored at work, you think about how you used to have someone to talk to all day. When you’re trying to fall asleep at night, you’re very aware of the empty space next to you.

You miss your ex so much. You want to text them, maybe plan to meet up. Maybe you’ll kiss. Maybe you’ll get back together and it will be bliss.

But you really don’t miss your ex.

When these thoughts hit you like a freight train, it’s not because you’re having a sudden realization that your relationship should have never ended. It’s really just a soft spot in the life you had begun to enjoy.

You can’t expect everything to be perfect always, we all hit a low every once in a while. When you’re missing your ex, you’re lonely, maybe scared, possible confused, and reaching an unstable point in your life. But this doesn’t mean you need to rekindle a past relationship – it means you need to light a fire in yourself.

You’re backtracking to the familiar because it’s the easiest fix to feel safe again. But this backtracking will only cause more harm than good. You don’t need your ex to get through this rough patch, you can get yourself up and move forward. You’ve done it alone before and you can do it again.

Don’t send the 2 am “I’m thinking about you” text. Don’t make plans to see your ex. You don’t miss them – you miss the happiness and comfort you felt in your relationship. But that happiness and comfort didn’t last forever, hence why the relationship ended. And this low point in your life won’t last forever either. By contacting your ex, you will only drag out the loneliness, fright, and confusion.

You don’t need to focus on your ex, you need to focus on yourself.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/joestpierre/

19 thoughts on “You Don’t Miss Your Ex

  1. I think I have to send this to a friend who was just complaining about how she keeps getting sucked back into hanging out with her ex because she misses all the good parts of the relationship and forgets all the reasons why they broke up. Great post! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can totally relay and I totally agree!! Also, I realized that maybe I not really miss him but I miss the feelings he gave me.. But since it has been my first long and important relationship I connect those feelings to him… But it could be any other guy! πŸ™‚
    Despite this yes, the best thing is focusing on ourselves, since when we broke up I changed and grew so much!!
    Thank you for sharing this Rosie, another great post😊

    Liked by 1 person

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