Do People Change?

I often see the worst in people. So when someone tells me they will change, I barely believe them. This is partly because I don’t want to be disappointed and partly because most of the time, they don’t change.

I think there are the parts of us that make us who we are and those are the parts no one should ever ask you to change. Whether it be your friends, a significant other, or family. They can’t ask you to change, but they shouldn’t be forced to deal with something they don’t like. So you can try to change for your significant other or you can let the relationship go.

If you’re asking someone to change and they’re unwilling or can’t see why they need to change, then it will never happen. You’re putting all your eggs in a basket that’s ready to fall apart.

If they can see the change that needs to be made, they may have a greater chance at actually making that change. But most of the time, relationship problems come from the core of someone. It comes from a part of their personality that has been there for years, something that is deep rooted. Can people really change those parts of themselves?

It all depends on your want or need to change and the recognition of the problem. I’m sure people can change, I just rarely see it.

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25 thoughts on “Do People Change?

  1. Honestly I think it’s a mix. I think there are very core parts of who we are that are static and then some things we have more control over. I know I’ve changed, so why shouldn’t I assume that other people can too?

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  2. We are a combination of enviornmental influences (such as family/upbringing) and (in my view) to a much lesser extent genetics. A child who is mercilessly bullied may well turn into an adult lacking confidence which may well impact on how they relate to others. Alternatively they may, themselves become a bully. There is nothing inevitable about this, it is simply a tendency. Leopards do not change their spots but people can (and do) but, as you say doing so is not always easy and frequently does not happen.

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  3. Hi there! Another really good post. i have a tough time believing people can change after having certain values and beliefs instilled in them for years and years. I also have a really hard time seeing the good in people who treat others poorly.

    I would love to hear your feedback on my perspective of people in my most recent posts and my perspective on people.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Although, not the exact point of your post, but I have always felt that a person changes based on one of three influences: traumatic experiences, slow and tedious external influences or a choosing to.

    Of course, I have always felt that change is a part of life and it’s how well you adapt to change that counts, I think…
    …but what do I know? LOL 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Great Post! I also have a very hard time thinking that someone will change. It makes me very frustrated when I see others being so hateful and feel like I am the only one that sees that.

    I just started a my own blog recently. Go check it out! I would love your feedback!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I do believe people can change. It is very hard, but that is why I have created my site. I truly believe every day is day one. And if others could develop this approach I believe the possibilities are endless.

    I think most people worry about the past and future so much that they get caught up in this thought process that they cant change. You must focus on the moment you are in and what can you control. Then respond. And most of the time I think people realize that they are the ones who need to change or that they are changing and that is why it is frustrating to be with someone who is not or work with others who are not changing and developing. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and creating a discussion!

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  7. When it comes to relationships, nothing is worse than trying to help someone that just doesn’t want help or doesn’t think they have a problem. From what I’ve gathered, people don’t change unless they truly want to. I have definitely made big changes, but it was never from someone else’s influence. I needed to read your post today so that I felt less alone. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Change is a difficult topic. Some people do it easily, others not so much. And sometimes in relationships or friendships you don’t really see all a person’s personality facets until enough time has passed. Not everything is always apparent. Good friendships and relationships alter together as life is not constant so we cannot remain the same. We have to learn to adapt and learn from our mistakes and past experiences.

    When change is a problem in relationships etc. is when it’s a behavioral problem. Behaviors can be changed, it takes effort at first and sometimes often, but a person whose good for you ( and you for them) means you’re both willing to change negative behaviors, not your inner selves, but how you choose to act and react to life and each other. If that makes sense. To some degree these are things we can control.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Based on experiences, changing people, whether it’s our significant other or relatives or friends, may give us a lot of pain in the butt. Seriously. I had an ex-boyfriend who financially relied on me, we used to live together, and despite the time I sacrificed to build on his resume, and despite all the motivational words I said, none ever changed him. He’s still the same person until now, and thank God we broke up.

    In a nutshell, you made a very good point in your post! Love it, Rosie! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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